Christian dating tips are often found in a different chapter or even a different book from the rest of the relationship advice given out online or found in various best sellers. The reason is quite simple: Christians are to conduct themselves in a manner that is markedly contrasted with the rest of the world. From taking tests to doing business to how one conducts himself or herself on a date is interwoven into the fabric of a Christian's life. Doing life's business in a manner differently than the neighbor next door is supposed to be the trademark of the person following Jesus Christ as a disciple. And there is probably no more relevant or tested field for this different lifestyle than in the arena of dating. Without a doubt, the world has blurred all boundaries and all standards are now fodder for ridicule, so when it comes to Christian dating tips, the first piece of advice is to make sure the spiritual glasses are in place.
Wearing spiritual glasses helps the Christian to see things differently than others, and when it comes to the area of Christian dating tips, that means having the right perspective on relationships. The conventional wisdom says that a person is not a whole person unless he or she has "hooked up" with someone. That term, used by culture quite freely, may have a sexual connotation or simply a relational one, but societal pressure has always said and continues to say that without the ongoing presence of a significant other, a person is less than whole. That lie is pervasive and continually runs in the back of many men's and women's minds, causing an undue pressure to find someone in order to quiet the mind's recorder. The Christian message has always been that a person who is in Christ is whole and complete, lacking in nothing. Wearing spiritual glasses means that a person has accepted that truth not only mentally, but has assimilated it into everyday life and that truth is making a difference in how that person is living.
So the supreme numero Uno of all Christian dating tips is know and believe and live out the concept of wholeness in Christ. No matter what pressure comes from your church at home where some sap comes up and asks every week when you are going to find someone and settle down, the belief that you don't need someone else to make you happy or complete is enough. And if you have to tell that person to kindly buzz off, then do it. But this Christian dating tips truth that must be accepted and lived out will take much of the pressure off to spend time with just any one in order to fill up some need or relieve some societal pressure. Each day, thank God that in Him you are made complete and tell Him that while you long to find companionship and a lifelong partner, His grace is enough for the day. By all means, be honest with God and tell Him exactly how you feel!
With the concept of wholeness firmly entrenched, Christian dating tips for the 21st century will include the suggestion of using Christian dating sites to locate those who have the same values. Unfortunately, so much of the discussion regarding Christian social interaction is about sexual behavior. Now this is a hugely important part of the difference in how Christians do approach relationships from the rest of the world. Regular sexual encounters are an assumed part of most dating relationships, but biblical mandates command a pure stance on this issue. So if there is an underlying difference in how Christians are to conduct themselves in the dating ritual, it would be in the sexual realm. But finding other single Christians who have had a life changing encounter with Jesus Christ may be the bigger issue.
Christian values come as the result of someone having the following experience: "If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new." (II Corinthians 5:17) Don't you love the word "behold" here? It denotes some incredible metamorphosis that has occurred in the life of someone, like tadpole into frog. When a person has a change like this and all things are new, then the acceptance and the desire for a different dating experience than the rest of society expects and demands is present and more able to be lived out. So the second incredibly easy-to-understand-but-hard-to-live-out of the Christian dating tips is make sure that a person has had a "Behold" encounter with Jesus Christ, and that your dating partner has also had one. On that first date, sit and talk about the behold moments in both of your lives. Look for the hints that changes that have occurred and ask questions about the difference Christ has made in the other's life.
When a person talks about Christian dating tips, the one issue that plagues all Christians from the beginning is whether or not to date a non-Christian. Strict interpreters of scripture would cite Paul's demand for Christians not to be unequally joined together (II Cor. 6: 14) with unbelievers as reason for not dating non Christians. But dating isn't being joined together. So there might be some leeway there, but the question is, what if one falls for a non-believer on one of those occasions and cannot extricate him or herself emotionally from the relationship? One will have to be very careful. Only the mature believer need apply for any freedom in this area.
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