A compatible Christian marriage partner is one whose core beliefs closely match those of their mate. In Amos 3:3, the prophet asks an important question, "Can two walk together except they be agreed?" Too often couples marry for reasons other than compatibility. If couples fail to discuss where they stand as individuals on important spiritual matters which can make or break a marriage, then there is bound to be trouble down the road. A prime example is a husband who may not be as committed to Christ as a devout wife. The wife may be dedicated to serving in the local assembly and religiously active in attending Bible studies, volunteering for auxiliaries, or spending regular time in prayer. But her husband's lack of commitment, evidenced in poor church attendance, a disinterest in Biblical education and a non-existent prayer life, can destroy marital harmony, A devout Christian marriage partner may spend years trying to push, pull and prod their mate to join in regular worship, family devotions, or just to become the spiritual head of the household. However, unless the Spirit of God intervenes by bringing the spouse to engage in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the two will never walk together in total agreement.
Spouses have the responsibility of understanding the individual roles which must be played in making the union succeed and diligently implementing Biblical principles to fulfill those God-given responsibilities. For couples who want a marriage made in Heaven, Ephesians 5:21-33 give some good guidelines. God fashioned the natural relationship between the husband and wife after the spiritual relationship between Christ and the Church, His Bride. And in either relationship, love should be the motivating factor. "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). As each Christian marriage partner is led by the Spirit of God and seeks to respond in love, the marriage will blossom and become an example to believers and non-believers alike who desire a more perfect marital union.
The ideal Christian marriage partner is therefore, one who is first, fully committed to Christ and values building a consistent and continual relationship with God on a personal level. Rather than professing to be a Christian in name only, or making half-hearted attempts to attend church just to appease a disgruntled spouse; devoted partners must make a concerted effort to place God in the center of the marriage: "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a three fold cord is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:12). By willingly giving God a key role as part of a tightly woven threefold cord intertwined in love, Christian couples have the assurance that the marriage is secure and that all major decisions in the relationship are governed by God. Each Christian marriage partner has the responsibility of seeking guidance and direction from the Holy Spirit individually; so that when the two come together, they can reach a commonality that is uncommon in marriages today. The common denominator of Jesus Christ enables couples to become one, not only in body, but also in soul and in spirit. Oneness cultivated in an intimate bond empowers couples to resist the temptation to separate or divorce, especially during times of sickness, infirmity, or economic woe. Faith-filled husbands and wives can become fortified and strengthened as they discover how to cleave together in difficult situations and face adversity and every enemy as one.
The main foe today's typical Christian marriage partner faces is selfishness, the bane of any marriage bond. Spouses who become self-centered and self-absorbed lack the capacity to be sensitive to the needs of others. After years of being married, husbands and wives may grow apart and begin to build more satisfying relationships with close friends or coworkers. But the moment that being with another individual outside of wedlock begins to be more fulfilling than time spent with a spouse, there needs to be some deep soul-searching, prayer and repentance. Honestly assessing hindrances to marital intimacy may help couples come to grips about each other's shortcomings, rather than seeking fulfillment elsewhere. An anecdote for the spirit of selfishness is the spirit of giving, which can only come through Christ. The Christian marriage partner who places a priority on a spouse's needs will seek first, to please God and to give 100% of them selves to the relationship. As they both acknowledge and affirm a love for God, husbands and wives will be motivated to freely express affection for one another in physical intimacy and in loving companionship, which cannot be easily broken by others. Husbands and wives should be best friends, chief confidantes, and eternal lovers; vowing to keep everyone and everything else from infringing upon the wonderful gift of holy matrimony.
A devoted Christian marriage partner will constantly work on improving the union by striving to maintain a close relationship with God and their spouse. A deep prayer life, regular church attendance and consistent Bible study, plus an effort to keep the lines of communication open between the believer and God and between husbands and wives is one surefire way to keep couples out of the divorce courts. While as a sacred institution, matrimony wages an ongoing battle against proponents of civil and same sex unions; believers whose hearts remain open to hear God and to receive instruction will surely overcome any obstacle to enduring happiness. An overwhelming love for Jesus Christ and for one's mate keeps the heart and spirit open to receive healing, forgiveness, and all the blessings that God has in store for those who trust Him.
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