A fulfilling Christian marriage relationship helps build strong families, strong churches and a strong nation. In modern society there is perhaps no other alliance so crucial to the perpetuation of the human race than marriage. In spite of secular humanistic beliefs about how a traditional family is defined, God's word is clear: marriage was ordained between a man and a woman, two genetically different halves of one complete unit. According to Malachi 2:5, God created the male and female so that they might produce a godly seed, one which not only personified His attributes, but also one with whom He could fellowship on earth. "And did not He make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That He might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth" (Malachi 2:15). Even after the Fall of man, God never deviated from His original intent. And each time a couple that has singly given their lives to Jesus Christ comes together in holy matrimony, the Lord waits with anticipation and expectation for that godly seed to come forth, perpetuating the likeness of Christ in human flesh. The Christian marriage relationship, therefore, is a vehicle for holiness, righteousness and genuine love to become a constant mainstay of our modern society. As couples united in Christ reproduce after their own kind, the light and love of Almighty God is released into the earth, shining brightly to draw the un-regenerated souls of men.
Because a successful Christian union is so crucial to the perpetuation of a strong family unit, Satan has made holy matrimony a prime target. He continually tries to entice, seduce, convince and coerce married men and women to abandon their wedding vows for forbidden fruit. And once those vows have been broken, he succeeds in filling the innocent but rejected spouse with bitterness, resentment, and hurt. The resulting alienation of affections usually winds up in divorce, leaving in its wake another dysfunctional, fatherless family. Statistics indicate that divorce among believers outnumbers those among unbelievers. While some may cite reasons to choose separation and divorce, the main reason may be that believers do not understand the value or the power that a positive Christian marriage relationship plays in society and in the kingdom of heaven.
While believers are quick to apply the principle of agreement as outlined in Matthew 18:18-19 to relationships between friends, church members, or coworkers; they fail to see that this principle can be applied to marriage, and it defeats the devil every time. A breach occurs in a Christian marriage relationship when couples refuse to agree. But without a disagreement, there can be no argument. And without an argument, there can be no lasting anger. Without prolonged and persistent anger, there can be no lack of forgiveness. And when husbands and wives cease to get angry and harbor bitterness, then there will be no need for divorce lawyers. If couples strive to maintain a spirit of agreement in every decision, then there will be no room to disagree. What believers fail to realize is that God wants to partner with them to create a bond that is mutually fulfilling. Even couples in a Christian marriage relationship that are contemplating separation or divorce can find solutions if they go to God. Believers can either solicit the services of the local pastor or faith-based counselor, or simply find a quiet place to join in sincere prayer, that the Lord may bring reconciliation and restore the love and communication that was once part of the bond.
Sounds too simple? God is a simple, but awesome God. Unlike humans who have difficulty grasping the meaning of an abstract concept called love, the Lord is succinct when He outlines requirements for marital harmony. Studying key passages, such as I Corinthians, chapter 7 or Ephesians, chapter 5 will help rebuild a Christian marriage relationship that is on the brink of annihilation. Troubled couples must draw upon their faith and submit themselves to the will of God, which is rarely divorce; so that He may interject a renewed love into what may seem like a hopeless situation. There are no bounds to God's unlimited reserves of wise and loving counsel; and His hourly fee is absolutely free of charge. A broken bond can be restored through the omnipotent power of God, as husbands and wives place their union in His hands.
However, before reconciliation can come, pride, hurt, resentment, and a lack of forgiveness must be done away with. Partners who sincerely desire to see their Christian marriage relationship restored must also resolve to bury those things which hindered the union from fulfilling the true purpose of God. It may seem impossible, but old wounds can heal and broken hearts can be mended. The following is a prayer which holds a promise of renewed love: "Father God, I know that your word explicitly states that you hate divorce, or putting away. We admit to you that we have contemplated divorce, even though we have knowledge of your will and your word. We come together now in a spirit of agreement and we divorce ourselves from our will and our way, so that you may now come in the midst of our Christian marriage relationship and begin the process of renewal. We forgive one another and we vow never to discuss painful or hurtful events that might re-open old wounds. We ask that you give us patience with one another, as love, trust, faith, and mutual fidelity are restored once again. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. After praying, couples should graciously and patiently allow the Holy Spirit to govern the tongue, guide the heart and renew the marriage in love.
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