Meet Local Singles

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Notwithstanding the internet, the best way to meet local singles may still be at a church, a local event, or shopping. As the activities of people become more and more frenetic, too little time is spent in getting to know the people around the neighborhood or even right next door. Look at people who pass you. People hustle and bustle around keeping schedules and keeping up with the Joneses instead of doing the simple things like saying "Hi" to the people they come in contact with. Just the idea of getting back to basics illudes many. The foundations for meeting people have not and will never change. It's just a matter of contact.

That's where the internet has made the most impact. People can now make contact to millions around the world. But, when a person wants to meet local singles; around the world is too far. There must be an easier way to get the job done. Yes, there is an easier way. There are basically 5 steps that a person can to take to make the job of meeting people simple and easy. Meeting people takes very little effort and not much imagination. Step 1. Keep the cell phone put away while in a public place. In case no one has ever brought the concept to your attention, having a private conversation in public is extremely rude. Private conversations in public make everyone around, the person on the telephone, very uncomfortable. The whole concept of closed door phone booths was for the purpose of keeping private conversations private. There seems to be a "new age" idea that whatever a person says on the telephone is for public consumption. Just stop. Hang up the phone.

Step 2. Look at people. Yes, make eye contact with people. Again, another rude habit that has only hit the scene in the last 30 years or so. Prior to that time, most people would actively greet one another daily. This is such an easy way to meet local singles. As a matter of fact, many people knew the majority of their neighbors by name. Because of this, there was likely to be conversations from time to time. These conversations would lead to introductions of other family members, neighbors and friends. Imagine that, meeting someone just 2 doors away without any effort on your part except to say "Hello," "What's up," or "Have a nice day." An introduction couldn't be easier. Try it. When in public, make eye contact and say "Hello." A great smile wouldn't hurt either.

Once a person has established a pattern of speaking to neighbors, then it's time to take Step 3. Simply make a comment or ask a question. Try something like, "What a beautiful day it is today," or "We finally got some much needed rain," or "Do you know what time the pharmacy closes?" These are simply ice-breaker questions. They are benign and non-threatening. Questions and comments like these can be used many times with different people. The purpose of making this "small talk" is for two people to become more comfortable speaking with one another. With the advent of the internet and cell phones, it appears that many people don't pay any attention to people they see in their everyday dealing. This makes it harder and harder to meet local singles. "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)

The fourth step that a person should take in trying to meet local singles is to make an offer of some sort. This is not a "line." Please do not use a "pick-up line." This is not the time to ask the person out on a date. Try making a genuine offer to help take something out of a car into the house, or to pick up something from the hardware store, or to mail a letter. The purpose of this step is to be kind. Yes, just be kind. When a person is kind, the recipient of the kindness is more inclined to want to reciprocate. In some cases, that may mean that they want to introduce the person to a family member they think may have some compatibility with the the person. If this happens, BINGO. That means trust has been established. Again, not much effort was involved. These are just normal human behaviors and "good etiquette."

The last step, Step 5 is even more simple than the first four; repeat. When a person makes a habit of eye contact, greeting, small talk, and being kind, it is very easy to meet local singles. Heck, it's easy to meet just about anyone. These days, people stress out over not being able to meet other people. Yet, on a daily basis there are dozens of people passing one another on the street, before and after a church service, at local art fairs and open air markets, and even while waiting in line at the grocery store. The fact that there are people who are more interested in speaking to a person they already know on the telephone, rather than speaking to the person who is standing right next to them, says more to why it's hard to meet local singles than the idea that they are not out there.

If a person is really serious about getting to know people, it's time to slow down. Meet neighbors. Instead of attending the conference out of town, go outside and clean out the car and speak to anyone who passes. Attend the next local food festival, keep the cell phone in the car, smile and speak to people who pass by. When church is finished, greet people and introduce yourself. Meeting folk is really not as difficult as it seems. People have gotten away from the basics. So, don't waste any more time worrying. Just get to know people around your environment; one step at a time. This will make it quite easy to meet local singles.

Meet Other Christian Singles

Though church hopping is not the way to meet other Christian singles, attending church regularly can illuminate the attributes, characteristics, and traits to look for in a search. It may sound uninteresting to go to church in order to meet someone. And to tell the truth, it is. There is no reason a person should go to church for that purpose. The focus in going to church is to seek revelation. Allowing the Lord to reveal how a person is to go about finding a partner will help a person find someone that they spend the rest of that their life with. Christian couples are unlike other couples is that there is no Biblical basis for dating. There are many practical reasons that there is no mention of dating in the Bible; the least of which is the idea of fornication. In case, you are not familiar with the meaning; fornication is simply having premarital "relations." Some Christian couples dare to push the limits by kissing and touching. However; if a person is human, then they know that this behavior can lead to a freefall to the next step; having "relations." The good news is, there is a way to get to know the person without doing the "alone in the dark thing."

Christian men and women are encouraged to set up and attend singles events coordinated and sponsored by the church. These are fun, public events where there is plenty of accountability to go around. To a Christian who wants to meet other Christian singles, singles events may sound dull. Sure, they can be lifeless; just like everything else. If a person does not want to attend a mundane function, it's easy to get involved. Simply make a call and list your name as a volunteer. Or perhaps there is a singles conference in the area. There is great care in developing these functions into memorable events. The purpose of meeting a person is to get to know the individual.

For Christians, there is an additional underlying reason to meet other Christian singles. If there is not a good potential for marriage to this person, there is no reason to continue "dating." A person's refusal to participate in such events may be a lost opportunity to meet just the right person for them. Then, of, course, there is the excuse, "I'm too busy." If a person is too busy to attend an event, then maybe some of the other activities the person is involved in can lead to the introduction. Or it may be that the person is really "too" busy to meet people. If that is true, then attempting to meet other Christian singles online is certainly not an answer to prayer. "Yet ye say , Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously : yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant." (Malachi 2:14)

These days people are spending lots of time online. There are a plethora of "Christian" internet dating sites. The lure is the word "Christian." Although some may actually have the intent to help people meet other Christian singles, many are just marketing sites. The whole purpose and intent of their existence is to get people to spend time on the website so that advertisers can market to them. The result, however, can easily be lots of temptation and opportunities for the believer to move into gray areas. There is at least one website that is very different from these others. It seeks to identify and match the key dimensions of personality that have been proven to predict compatibility. Distinctive from other sites, EHarmony does not simply cater to the sensual appetites of the members. The purpose and intent of their website is to develop long-term relationship success. For Christians, this is phenomenal news.

Really, when a person thinks about this whole area of meeting other people, it remains quite simple. It's fairly easy to meet other Christian singles. There is no magic, no Cupid's arrow, no trick to any of it. Electronics seem to be the main thing that keeps people busy these days. Common courtesy was thrown out the window when the internet and cell phones invaded our eyes and ears. One suggestion would be to put down the cell phone, turn off the television, and leave the internet to itself. Take a walk outside. Simply look at people. Speak to people. Yes, speak to people. "Hi," " How's it going?," "Let me introduce myself, I'm Tim." Meet your neighbors. Find out who the people in the neighborhood are. It may not be a coincidence for a person to meet other Christian singles right in their own neighborhood. Other than formal settings, think about the last time that happened.

Sure a believer can go to church to meet other Christian singles, but if they are not learning the attributes, characteristics, and traits to look for in a mate, there will be difficulty in meeting the goal. Men and women of God are called to a higher standard and therefore do not go about things like the world does. Finding a person who is willing to live up to their God-given roles and responsibilities as members of the same body; whether that be the Body of Christ or the family, is the what believers strive to do. With that in mind, the most natural, normal place for people to meet is in doing things they already do. If a person is an avid reader, a bookstore or library is a good place to meet people. When skiing or snorkeling is a favored past time, then the slopes or ocean would be an ideal location to find a partner. What if staying home and tending to a garden or cooking are the things that make a person tick, then the grocery store and the landscape section of Wal-mart might be just the place for a chance meeting. If the person is not already a Christian, it's also a great ministry opportunity. But, if they are a Christian, a person will have achieved their goal.



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