A personal matchmaking service may be the option that many busy people in life choose to help them locate someone for a long term or permanent relationship. The stigma of using the Internet to find dating and marriage partners has long died a well deserved death along the side of the road, and in its place are quality website services that have commitments to helping clients and visitors find compatible matches for friendships, dating and permanent relationships. A personal matchmaking service is however, defined not so much by photos and profiles that a person can review as it is by the service's commitment to using its resources to offer matches for the client based on its research and evaluation. Matchmaking service providers that target middle class clients often use proprietary interview and questionnaire tools to define each person's strengths and personality types. More expensive and elite personal matchmakers may actually employ a team of psychologists and relationship experts to interview and match clients.
Highly busy and involved professional people are often the most likely candidates to use a matchmaker. In most cases, the wealthier and highly visible a client is, the more expensive and discrete the personal matchmaking service will be. These services are often used by doctors, lawyers, business owners, media stars, Wall Street moguls and other well-heeled and discrete loving individuals. Many highly elite personal matchmaking service providers use heavy networking strategies across the country to locate possible matches for these wealthy clients. Representatives and agents scour galas, civic clubs, charity events and other meeting places for well educated and motivated persons who may be good matches for their clients. And in all cases, privacy for all parties is guarded.
As stated earlier, most personal matchmaking service providers that are in business for a profit will use proprietary personality and temperament inventories for finding matches. While the wording and the appearance of these inventories will be different from provider to provider, the actual content of these tools will be quite similar. Issues that will be covered in these inventory questionnaires will be issues such as the ability and comfort level of vulnerability. Many opaque people resist the opportunity to open up and disclose their inner self while other practice transparency on a regular basis. Open mindedness, the ability to communicate and the style of communication, sexual expectations, closeness with other family members, conscientiousness, integrity, healthy attachments, psychological strength and many other human factor components. How those factors are balanced against one another and matched with other inventory results will be the responsibility of the matchmaking service and its history of success in permanent relationship matchmaking.
For those who cannot afford such an exclusive personal matchmaking service, there may be some ways to take advantage of their tools. There are a number of compatibility tests that are availability on line as well as books and manuals on sale at various book sellers that a couple can sit down and take together or separately. While not sounding real romantic, an "early in the relationship" meeting over coffee and an inventory might not be such a bad idea, especially if the couple is mature enough to see a potential attraction. Romance put on the back burner early can save a great deal of heartache and frustration later. In fact, while some couples wait all the way until premarital counseling with a pastor or advisor to begin seriously looking at major personality, expectation and goal differences. Sadly, couples are not often willing to pull the plug on a DOA relationship because of wedding plans and money already invested. Even more disturbing is the belief that somehow the differences will go away after saying "I do."
Using someone or a company to find a person a match may sound rather clinical and not at all natural. But leaving the finding of a mate strictly a personal task has only been a relatively modern concept. Personal matchmaking service providers, at least as individuals, have been a part of most societies for a number of centuries, and in some logical way may make the most sense, since those outside the romantic spell often have the best insight into its wisdom or lack thereof. On the other hand, for many who dream of some enchanted evening across a crowded room, having a committee of psychologists suggest a particular person as the best match lacks a little of the fireworks. For people of faith, there may even be the question of whether or not this is unbiblical or way too humanistic.
Does a matchmaker, perhaps an unbeliever, thwart God's will for someone's life? "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is." (Ephesians 5: 15-17) The will of God is not some mystery or some riddle to be unraveled but rather, the will of God is for each believer to be the right person, taking on the mind of Christ. A person who has that kind of mindset can be thrust into any situation and will know what God will want of him or her. No matter how brilliant or how successful a matchmaker's track record is, a believer will know whether or not the choice of that personal matchmaking service is God honoring. In other words, a matchmaker's opinion is finite, God's is eternal.
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