Photo personal ads are the staple of most low budget dating and matchmaking sites and are important for people who are looking to find suitable singles to date and possibly marry. Not nearly as many profiles are looked at on various dating and matchmaking sites when the picture is missing as are those with an accompanying photograph. And while men are the more visual creatures in the dating and mating dance, women also like to see the man who arouses their curiosity with witty copy in the profile description. But many people decide not to put a picture with their profile, and that may or may not be a mistake. Here are some thoughts on the matter.
First, some people may not want to put a picture on their photo personal ads because they are not comfortable with the way they look. That might be the first assumption made by someone looking at the profile. That may not be a fair assumption, however. Reality may be that someone is just waiting to get a good picture of himself; or may mean that someone doesn't have a picture, or may mean that the person is playing a real smart game. Remember the fairy tale where the prince lived among his people disguised as a serf? Looking for his true love among the common folk, he didn't want his royalty getting in the way. Perhaps this is a person how has been taken advantage of because of his or her looks and doesn't want that to happen again.
Particularly for women, there may be the desire to be wanted and accepted because of one's character, inner qualities and personhood and not because of an attractive appearance. And since men have been driven most vociferously by sight in the mating process, this refusal to post a picture may be some women's defense against a perceived shallow relationship. In the end, there can be no definitive reason why someone might refuse to post a picture on photo personal ads, but profiles with photos certainly get more attention. We live in a society that puts an over emphasis on looks and youth, but God is greater and smarter than all that. "But the Lord said to Samuel, Look not on his countenances or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh upon the heart." (I Samuel 16: 7)
It is, thankfully for men, not nearly as important to women for a man to have a full head of hair or a 32 inch waist in order to be considered as attractive or suitable for dating or a long term commitment. On the other hand, fair or unfair, women want to see stability in a man, usually defined by a good paying job and emotional balance. Living with mom may work against a man in some cases. So the picture in photo personal ads becomes more important for the woman in getting responses to personal ads, while the profile describing who a person is becomes more important for a man looking for dating partners. With millions of singles looking for matches, these ads and how they are put together become extremely important in the hunt for compatible partners.
For the construction of quality personal ads, attention must be given to both the profile and the photo. The profile of many people looking for dates, particularly on free dating and matchmaking sites is very poorly constructed, often appearing to be put together as an afterthought. Men, many of your profiles read like little more than prehistoric grunts in response to a good dinner! Fellows, if you are going to impress the ladies with your words, which really do have power, there needs to be intelligence behind them. Tell stories with your words, but make them true stories. Put color and fabric in your words, paint pictures and capture women's hearts with windows on your soul. And if this all sounds a little intimidating, get some help writing the piece, but just makes sure they are your words, and not someone else's.
And now about many of the pictures places on photo personal ads. Gotta' be honest about them; many look like they were snapped in the middle of the night from three hundred yards away. Others make driver license photos look good. The question is, how important is it to find that special someone? If it is important, then why not make it a very fine photograph? One that is flattering and where the lighting is good and the expressions on faces don't look like some people are on a march to a public drinking fountain in Chihuahua! There are some really grim pictures!
The challenge to many is to take down those photo personal ads until some good pictures and well thought out copy has been written on those profiles. It's amazing that many people who are lonely and aching to have someone in their life are willing to do so little to attract someone. The Internet is a wonderful thing and offers plenty of opportunity to get out there in cyberspace and meet people, yet so many people don't take the time to make their photo personal ads high quality in nature. The instructions on free matchmaking and dating sites often say, "It only takes ten minutes before you can be getting emails from other singles!" That's true, but ten minutes of preparation can look like someone doesn't have a lot of pride. And you do have a lot going for you, so why not showcase it with great photo personal ads?
|
