Child custody during separation is best arranged by considering what is best for the minors and can be accomplished through commitment of the two parents. The discussion should include a parenting plan agreement. Joint custody is the ideal situation because this benefits everyone in most cases. If a couple chooses to go this route then they will have to decide on the times that each one has the kids. This choice requires that the spouses live in close proximity to the children's school. If this isn't possible then the adults might want to have an arrangement where one parent has the children during school hours and the rest of the time the other one has them. Making these decisions prior to finalizing the divorce is important. Otherwise, the judge will have to make the decisions. Some courts require a parenting plan to be done before the court date. If the couple cannot agree on child custody during separation then a mediator can help both adults to come to an agreement on custody issues. If possible pray together and invite God to help in the situation. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusts in Thee" (Isaiah 26:3).
When thinking about what is best for the minors one must look at how he or she can go about making decisions that will disrupt their lives the least. Divorce is hard on the entire family but especially on the children. The little ones may not be old enough to really understand what is going on. Sometimes young kids blame themselves for the breakup. Mom and Dad need to make sure that the minors understand it is not their fault. Child custody during separation is a painful part of the process but necessary. Consider the routine of each child and go from there. If a minor is already in school then do not make a decision that will move him or her to a different school. If possible continue to live in the same house and do everything possible to lessen the pain. Too many changes in the children's lives can be overwhelming. They need stability and security.
A primary caregiver who has child custody during separation will probably need temporary child support. If the other parent agrees then he or she needs to keep track of all monies given to the primary caregiver even if a temporary court order has not been issued. When the case does go to court the judge will notice you are responsible and want to take care of the children. The health insurance on the minors will need to be maintained. Responsibilities do not stop just because the marriage is over. Visitation needs to be agreed upon and followed as closely as possible. If it's your weekend to have visitation you don't want to disappoint them by not showing up. Consider visiting the minors in their own home at first to give them time to adjust to the idea of going somewhere else. If this isn't possible make sure each child has their own room and plenty of clothes and food while there. Make them feel that it is their home too. Give the kids lots of love and attention by spending time with them.
Moving the little ones out of state during a temporary order or divorce order is taboo. Doing so could put you in contempt of court and might be considered kidnapping. Make sure that you read the child custody during separation agreement and ask questions about important issues. If a parent takes a child somewhere without the other parent's permission and kidnapping is the charge you could go to jail for a while. If a partner does not understand the agreement then he or she should consult with an attorney and get clarification. Anyway, a partner should always consider the minors first and what is best for each one. Making a move during a troubling time could cause some psychological problems with the kids. If one needs to make a move it is best to wait until the little ones have had some time to adjust to the changes.
Psychological effects of divorce on children can be very serious. Studies have shown that some minors have anger issues and in some cases become extremely depressed. This could lead to dysfunction. Low self-esteem can result as well. A full blown custody battle can make the situation much worse. Child custody during separation should give the parents time to talk things over and come up with a plan that minimizes the psychological risk to the minors. No matter how hard you try there may be difficulties to deal with during a divorce. Give children time to adjust before being too hard on them. If they are having difficulty and you can't help them, find someone who can.
Age can make a difference in the degree of psychological problems. Younger kids will often become withdrawn. Older children may continually fantasize about the parents getting back together. They may turn to substance abuse to avoid dealing with the pain. Their behavior could change drastically. Look for signs of psychological change in behavior and consider counseling for the minor who is having a difficult time adjusting. Child custody during separation brings change. One day both parents are always around and the next thing they know, Mom or Dad isn't around anymore. Take the minors to church and teach them that God can help with their problems. This can be a great way for the children to learn to cope. God can heal their broken hearts. Child custody during separation is tough on everyone. Pray with your babies and set an example of someone who has faith in God. Allow peace to overrule strife by trusting in the promises of God.