Child Custody With Emotional Abuse

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Child Custody with emotional abuse can cause lasting damage to the emotional health of a child. When two people decide to end their marriage there can be so much anger and hate towards one another that it spills over to the children. One spouse may say bad things about the other spouse that is not true. If the minors are very young and not around the other parent they may grow up believing the bad things they were told. The minors will grow up with trust issues. False allegations can remain in the minds of children for a very long time. They may have horrible feelings towards the parent who was talked about for a very long time. Once a minor grows up he or she may realize that what was told was not true. When this happens this will add to their conflicting feelings unless the minor can somehow separate the truth from a lie and see things as they really are. No child should have to suffer needlessly during child custody with emotional abuse brought on by anger and hatred experienced between their mother and father. "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind" (I Corinthians 6:9).

The well-being of a child is paramount during child custody with emotional abuse because children have a tendency to blame themselves when a divorce happens. They are not old enough to realize that the split between their mother and father has nothing to do with them. When a divorce case goes to court and minors are involved there should be a parenting plan between the two parties. A parenting plan can be mapped out so that there is less emotional harm to the minor. All disagreements need to be settled during a case about child custody with emotional abuse with the best interest of the minor in mind. If the minor is old enough he or she should have a say in what goes into the parenting plan. Living arrangements, visitation times including holidays, educational needs, health insurance, and child support among other things should be considered. The two parents should have a mediator sit with them when developing a parenting plan especially if disagreements arise.

Emotional ties to mother and father, lifestyle, ties to school and community, and friends are all important considerations that come up during child custody with emotional abuse. If there is emotional abuse happening within a home then the parent who is causing the situation should be ordered by the court to receive counseling before he or she can have custody or visitation of the minor. If the adult abuser wishes to be a part of the minor's life then he or she will need to have a professional counselor convince the court of a change in behavior. If the mistreatment is coming from both the mother and father then the court will have to consider giving custody to a family member or foster parents. This could be a temporary placement if both adults undergo counseling and come out of the treatment with a change in behavior.

Abuse can come in many forms and oftentimes when a spouse is being mistreated by a partner he or she will have very low self-esteem and no self-confidence. Sometimes the victim will be unaware of what is really happening to him or her because after awhile brainwashing takes hold. The victim begins to believe what the abuser is saying. A parent who has been mistreated by their spouse may feel threatened in a case for child custody with emotional abuse. The partner doing the brainwashing may convince the victim that he or she is unworthy to have custody of the minors. This is a situation that hopefully will begin to remedy itself once the victim has been separated from the abuser. Unfortunately, the minors in the household are probably victims of the controlling parent as well. In this case, family counseling should be considered. The children and the adult victim need to realize that they are worthy of love and acceptance. Hopefully with counseling everyone involved can experience healing together.

Mistreatment comes in many different forms. A minor may have experienced constant ridicule or taunting. The minor may have been threatened time and again. A controlling parent may punish a child by destroying his or her possessions. Child custody with emotional abuse will have to be proved in court. When a mother tries to get custody of a child and the father has been emotionally abusive she must try to prove her case to the court. The first step in doing this will involve getting the minor evaluated by a specialist or child psychologist. Talking with the minor's caregiver, teachers, and peers will help to build the case. Documenting specific occurrences will give the court examples of the mistreatment.

The court may not react to psychological abuse as much as physical mistreatment because it is harder to prove. Child custody with emotional abuse should be addressed by using a professional counselor as a witness and having other credible witnesses as well. Then there may not be enough evidence to keep the controlling parent from having at least 50% custody of the minor. The parent who is trying to protect the minor from mistreatment might want to consider both mental and spiritual counseling for the minor after the divorce is finalized and the custody battle is over. The minor needs to be able to talk to someone about what he or she is going through. Teaching him or her to pray and have faith in God can bring hope when there is none. If the mistreatment becomes worse then the adult protecting the child will need to see an attorney and consider going back to court.

Child Custody With Physical Abuse

In cases of child custody with physical abuse, the non-custodial parent, a legal guardian or any responsible adult must ensure that the minor or under aged adolescent is protected. When children present signs of battering, such as bruises, lacerations or broken bones, a responsible adult should step in and alert the proper authorities. Many times, custodial parents, live-in boyfriends, stepparents, or relatives are guilty of mistreating a child in their care. Horror stories abound regarding the abuse of foster and biological children who suffer scars, burns, and blackened eyes at the hands of a parent, relative, or guardian. In extreme cases, youngsters may be subjected to regular beatings, confined to a small space like a caged animal, or deprived of food. Aggravated assault on a minor can result in disfigurement or even death.

How anyone can perpetuate such atrocities upon another human being is unfathomable, but particularly horrendous in cases of child custody with physical abuse. Those who perpetuate such crimes are not only in jeopardy of imprisonment, but also the wrath of God. "At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:1-6).

A youngster in a hostile environment has little recourse for protection. Many times, abuse lasts for several years before perpetrators are apprehended and jailed; but the affects of long term mistreatment can leave physical and mental scars. Battered children often appear sullen, withdrawn, and silent. Some may act out and display aggression towards classmates or siblings. Signs of child custody with physical abuse may include greater absenteeism or truancy from school, or unexplained but frequent accidents. An abusive custodial parent may label the youngster as "clumsy," or explain bumps and bruises by complaining that the child falls a lot or is the victim of sibling rivalry. If a youngster frequently has bandaged hands, fingers or arms, or black eyes; wears clothing to cover bruises; or displays a limp or awkward gait, responsible adults need to inquire if the custodial parent, a live-in boyfriend or girlfriend, an older sibling or another acquaintance is inflicting harm.

To see but look the other way when a little one is being injured is almost unforgivable. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes that same village of concerned individuals to ensure that children are raised free from harm. When mistreatment is suspected, the first intervention is to alert close family members and teachers in confidence, or to contact local law enforcement and protective services agencies. An astute teacher, a pastor, or a friend's parent may also become aware of changes in behavior or distinct markings that might indicate battering. Blowing the whistle on an abuser, especially the custodial parent or guardian is a sensitive matter. The courts have already awarded guardianship based on the testimony of family, friends or coworkers; therefore to prove child custody with physical abuse requires professional assistance.

Many hospitals and schools employ psychologists trained in interrogating children to assess whether alleged mistreatment is more fact than fiction. By using role playing, stuffed animals, dolls, and drawings, psychologists can glean from a youngster's response whether child custody with physical abuse is evident. Role playing is significant in that minors will usually take either an aggressive or submissive posture. Using puppets or dolls, children can demonstrate an abuser's aggression or tone of conversation. Drawings are also helpful in assessing mistreatment and even in identifying the perpetrator. A drawing may depict incidences of beatings, imprisonment or even rape. What the youngster finds difficult to express verbally may be readily portrayed pictorially. Once authorities have confirmed suspicions and identified the person or persons responsible for harming the little one, an interview with the suspect can be scheduled or a warrant for an arrest issued.

In addition to interviewing suspects in incidents of child custody with physical abuse, law enforcement and protective agencies can issue a court injunction to remove the minor from the home, sometimes immediately. The non-custodial parent should be alerted, and the court may decide to place the child temporarily with another parent or close relative rather than in foster care. The goal is to make the transition from an abusive situation or home, into an environment where the minor can feel safe and secure. If allegations of child custody with physical abuse are proven, criminal charges against the perpetrator may be forthcoming. A judge will determine whether the child will remain with the non-custodial parent or another close family member while a court date is set for the case to go to trial.

In the event the defendant is found guilty, imprisonment, a fine, or both may be imposed. In any case, children who are physically abused should not be returned to the home in which mistreatment took place. Occasionally, authorities misjudge a domestic situation, and minors are placed back into a hostile environment. Unfortunately, some are further injured and some even die at the hands of their attackers. But it is the responsibility of an entire village of parents, teachers, pastors, psychologists, bus drivers, and any other adult within a youngster's immediate area to recognize the signs of child custody with physical abuse and take steps to remove minors from harm.



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