How To Heal From A Divorce

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The Holy Bible offers solid advice on how to heal from a divorce. While many secular texts focus on getting suddenly single men and women back out into the dating scene, God's Word takes a more holistic approach to restore the mind, body and soul of those who have been wounded by a broken marriage. When two people marry, their entire beings becomes intertwined and enmeshed. They not only share the same bed but they also share similar thought patterns, experiences, joys and sorrows. Whether a couple has been married two or twenty-two years, the dissolution of the union is very much like death: a living, breathing entity created by joining a man and a woman ceases to exist; and in its place lies a great void. In order to learn how to heal from a divorce, men and women of all denominations should seek the face of God, search the scriptures, and rely on biblically-based counsel. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).

Couples will soon find that how to heal from a divorce is very similar to the natural process of healing a physical wound. Torn, bruised, and scraped, the flesh must first be cleansed with a sterile antiseptic to remove all debris and surface germs. Sutures or stitches might be required to close up deep lacerations; and a bandage is applied to keep germs from infiltrating the affected area. Finally, all wounds need time to heal. The natural process of healing torn tissue creates a scab, a surface layer of skin which creates a natural barrier between the abrasion and the surrounding air. Beneath the tough exterior scab, new skin is being formed, until one day the scab just loosens and falls off-- with virtually no pain.

In the spiritual realm, God takes the torn and bruised hearts and souls of wounded men and women, and washes them thoroughly in the pure blood of Jesus, removing all the debris of sin, guilt and shame. An individual who has gone through divorce is broken, bruised, and tattered and is in much need of a spiritual cleansing. Sometimes, divorce is a wake-up call to men and women in need of salvation or spiritual renewal. Hearts hardened by bitterness and resentment must be washed; and deeply wounded spirits must be bound up by the Word of God and constant prayer. Ex-spouses can learn how to heal from a divorce by finding a good Bible-believing church and submitting their body, soul and spirit to God. Now is not the time to seek a new relationship with another partner, but the demise of a marital union is the perfect time to fully seek a relationship with God. As former husbands and wives surrender their will and emotions to the Creator, He is able to make all things new again. "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;" (II Corinthians 5:17-18).

Constant fellowship in a church or other Christian setting with other believers provides a spiritual covering, much like a bandage, that keeps the germs of bitterness and resentment from infiltrating a wounded and lacerated heart until it begins to heal. Constant prayer and study of God's Word creates a tough epidermis similar to a scab, to form an outer barrier of protection against future hurts while strengthening the believer's mind and soul. Establishing a lifestyle of consistent Bible study, prayer, fasting and forgiving equips believers with the right tools to discover how to heal from a divorce.

To fully understand how to heal from a divorce, ex-spouses may need the aid of a seasoned pastor or prayer partner. Part of understanding the healing process is examining wounds to prevent their reinjury. Through careful introspection and personal assessment, former husbands and wives can realistically assess what role they played in the demise of the marriage. A skilled counselor or pastor can help an individual in crisis determine specific areas of concern without judging too harshly. As the process of self-discovery continues, character flaws may be revealed which are difficult to face; but the healing balm of Jesus Christ can ease the pain of self-recrimination. Self-discovery often leads to a confession of faults; and ex-spouses may feel the need to ask a former mate to forgive actions that contributed to the failure of the marriage. The Holy Spirit, which is the Spirit of Truth, is like an antiseptic: as bitter medicine is poured into the wound it may sting, but the discomfort is necessary if ex-spouses want to learn how to heal from a divorce.

As the protective layer of self-preservation is gradually peeled away through personal assessment, ex-husbands and ex-wives can begin to experience renewal and restoration. The process of trusting others enough to share love again can be slowly reestablished. As former mates learn how to release and forgive themselves and their ex-spouses, the joy that comes from being made whole in Christ Jesus can be realized. Wounds from a bad marriage may leave scars, but one day the scars will be hardly recognizable; and the pain all but forgotten. By allowing the Holy Spirit to cleanse and purge from bitterness and resentment, submitting to the Word of God, joining a good Bible-believing church, and establishing a life of prayer; former spouses who have been bruised, tattered and torn by a marital breakup can discover how to heal from a divorce and achieve spiritual renewal and restoration.

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