Primary caregiver in divorce is the parent who has been the main support of the children who are underage. Kids may equally depend upon both parents but there is usually one who takes the responsibility of making sure they are fed, taken to school, put to bed at night, and takes them to the doctor when needed. If mom and dad take turns doing all these things then primary caregiver in divorce may not really apply. This could be a situation where joint custody would be the answer. This is a usually a good arrangement for the children because the little ones get to see both parents equally. If the responsibility of taking care of minors is not equal then the court will determine who the primary caregiver is and may award custody to that person. "Plead my cause, O LORD, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me" (Psalm 35).
As each case is unique, there is not one cut and dry answer to winning primary caregiver in divorce. The well being of the minors is the ultimate goal of the court. With both adults working outside the home, there is still usually one parent who takes the bulk of the responsibility of the children. The mother is the most likely candidate but there are situations where the father is the better choice. Dad is taking more of a role in the home and with the children today than ever before. This can be attributed to more women working and developing careers outside the home. Role reversal is becoming common. So, the idea that mom will automatically get custody of the kids is not really true today.
Household living arrangements will be an important factor in who gets custody of the minors. The minors will need to have someone there to take care of them at all times. If a spouse can show the court that he or she has the ability to be the primary caregiver in divorce then there is a good chance of winning custody. Providing medical insurance for the minors shows responsibility. Making sure they get to school on time everyday shows responsibility. Seeing that each child is clothed properly will not go unnoticed. There needs to be regular meals and snacks everyday. A lot of the little things will be important when partners get a divorce. To prove that you are the responsible parent the court will want to see that you did not neglect the kids at any time in the past.
Witnesses that have seen you taking care of the kids can be summoned in court to testify. Maybe the neighbor who comes over to borrow a cup of sugar witnessed you taking care of the minors. There may be a close friend who has been over at the home a lot. He or she could be used as a character witness for primary caregiver in divorce. Even the family doctor could testify that you have been the one who always brings the kids in for their checkups. Make a list of everyone who can serve as a character witness in court. Talk this over with your attorney and if there is a dispute then there may be a need for witnesses to come forth.
Judges do not want to see disputes taken into court. Fighting will not be in your favor when trying to win primary caregiver in divorce. Losing one's temper during divorce proceedings is not wise. If one spouse tries to pick a fight do not retaliate. Always keep your cool and never give in even if the other partner is inciting you. "Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee" (Psalm 32). A judge will not want the kids to be placed with someone who has a bad temper with no control. Letting one's attorney handle the disputes is the best way when there is no way that the two partners can agree. And unfortunately, this is often the case with a split-up. It is best to use wisdom and not become caught up with arguing all the time.
The unselfish adult will always look better in court than the one who seems to want everything. However, primary caregiver in divorce is not about giving up everything either. Just be careful to compromise when doing so benefits the children. Showing that you put the kids before yourself shows the court that they are your primary concern. Let the judge know that you want what is best for the minors. A break-up is hard on children and there needs to be utmost consideration for their needs during this time. This includes physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. Taking the time to see that these needs are met will be important during a custody battle.
Joint custody is a popular choice for parents who love their babies and want to make sure they have the best. Primary caregiver in divorce does not have to be an issue if both spouses can agree on joint custody. Living close to the kid's schools will be important. Some arrangements may include each spouse having the children for six months out of the year. The other spouse can get visitation during these times as long as it is not disruptive. In other words, visitation should be on the weekends instead of on school days. If the parents do not want to agree on the six month rule then they should live close to one another where they share responsibilities equally.