How To Communicate In Marriage

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How To Communicate in Marriage involves being respectful, kind, considerate, and being a good listener. Couples should make a point of spending time communicating everyday. The best way to do this is to set aside a special time for one another. Days may be hectic but after putting the kids to bed and the house is quiet, sit down and talk for a little while before going to bed. Partners who learn how to communicate in marriage will have fewer misunderstandings. Being truthful and talking about things can help partners to build trust and respect for each other. When talking, be careful not to unload the day's events on a partner. Of course there will be times when things have to be shared that are not pleasant but try to minimize those situations as much as possible. If there are concerns about the children then one's partner needs to know so together a solution can be found. Pray together after communicating and believe God for guidance. "O send out Thy light and Thy truth: let them lead me; let them bring me unto Thy holy hill, and to Thy tabernacles" (Psalm 43:3).

Engaging in meaningful conversation and being attentive to one's spouse is how to communicate in marriage. Do not ever make sarcastic remarks or judgmental statements. Asking questions shows interest and listening skills. Treat your spouse like you want to be treated even if he or she does not do the same. After awhile, good behavior can rub off. Always act interested in what is being said. Try not to develop a bad habit of cutting others off when they are talking. Making critical remarks makes others feel bad and puts them on the defensive. This behavior can become a habit and after awhile people do not even realize they are doing it.

Do not correct each other in front of others. Try to never correct another person's grammar or make them feel inferior. Treating others, especially a partner, as though you are better than he or she is can be degrading. How to communicate in marriage involves common courtesy. Making excuses for bad behavior is a bad habit to get into. Be willing to admit when there is fault and make an effort to change. Apologize for treating a partner badly. Even if a person has done something mean that encourages like behavior never be guilty of acting the same way. Set an example. Your children will notice and will have a good example to follow.

Remember one's spouse is not a mind reader. Sometimes a spouse automatically assumes that a partner should know when something is wrong with them even when nothing has been said. Assuming is an act that is really not fair to either person. How to communicate in marriage involves talking to each other and letting the other one know when something is wrong. Playing the silent game is really not fair either. A partner probably does not know why he or she is getting the cold shoulder. Make a habit of communicating when something is bothering you. Sit down and talk it out. Let the other person have a chance to talk and work out the problem. Do not go to bed at night until all concerns have been discussed and resolved.

The children are a really good reason to learn how to communicate in marriage. Children learn by example and when there is bickering or strife in a home then they will act out. Seeing parents treat one another with respect and kindness can make a big difference in a child's behavior. Parents often wonder why their kids are being disrespectful and fighting. Look at self and do an evaluation on what kind of example you are setting. Their behavior may be a result of what they see at home. Communicate with the children and allow them to talk out their own frustrations. Give them an opportunity to speak. Show a child that he is valued by listening to what is being said.

Keep a gratitude journal. Writing down all the things that one is grateful for can really help to change an attitude. We all take one another for granted. Pay attention to the little things that a spouse does. Be specific in the journal. How to communicate in marriage means mentioning every kindness no matter how small or insignificant. At the end of the week share your journal with a partner and take out the time to say, "thank you." Do the same thing with the kids. Sometimes when our days are busy we often overlook the kindnesses of others. This can be especially true of those we love the most. Keeping a gratitude journal makes us more aware and in time, we begin to notice a lot more.

When partners have an argument they often say things they really do not mean. Sometimes this can lead to threats. Never threaten to leave or get a divorce. How to communicate in marriage means never having to say, sorry. Try to get a hold on the anger and be careful what you speak. Once threats or mean things are spoken they can not be taken back. The best a person can do is to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Even then there might be difficulty in the other person forgetting. Be the one to change the way communication takes place. Take a moment to pause and say something kind instead. Think carefully before speaking and speak only positive things. Doing this can change a relationship from negative to positive.

How To Communicate Effectively

As couples learn how to communicate effectively they can expect to enjoy a happy home. Next to marital intimacy, one of the most important skills husbands and wives can learn is how to carry on meaningful conversation, relay information, and respond appropriately. An inability to convey ideas or information has caused many marriages to wind up in divorce court; but marital mayhem can be avoided when the art of communication is mastered. Discovering and applying basic principles of conversation can not only improve relationships in the boardroom, but also in the bedroom. A two-way conversation requires a communicator, or speaker; and a receiver, or listener. When the communicator knows how to communicate effectively in an easily understood and concise manner, the receiver has no problem hearing, listening and responding in a positive manner. A good communicator not only uses the right tone and inflection, but in marriage, understanding how a partner will respond is also crucial if the lines of communication should remain open. Arguments can be avoided and couples can live in peace and harmony.

Meaningful conversation involves addressing one another with mutual respect; phrasing thoughts, ideas and observations in a non-threatening and non-accusatory manner; taking the time to listen before responding; and anticipating a mates response. Husbands and wives may benefit by learning how to communicate effectively, especially in the way they are addressed. Couples should entreat their mates certainly with greater respect than shown to a coworker or employer. Using endearments like honey, baby, or sweetheart, may evoke a better response than calling a loved one, stupid, idiot, or even by their first name. Endearments can smooth the rough edges of an otherwise unfavorable comment and serve to open lines of communication that might be momentarily blocked. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).

In marital relationships, how to communicate effectively also requires being a good listener. Women and men not only need to be heard but also understood. By listening intently without interrupting, couples can avoid the pitfalls of poor marital communication. Spouses should not be quick to respond rashly or lash out emotionally without thinking of the repercussions of answering in anger. Learning to listen requires thoughtfully assessing what has been said and just as thoughtfully, phrasing a response that will not exacerbate the situation. An effective exercise for husbands and wives seeking to improve communication is to turn off the television, unplug the telephone, and sit together on the sofa. Take turns sharing innermost feelings, frustrations, and emotions. By letting each partner put into practice skills learned in how to communicate effectively, couples can grow closer in a matter of minutes. Partners should set aside quality time to commune without conflict and rekindle the romance lost through every day living. Taking long walks on the beach or spending a lazy afternoon just talking and learning to listen will work wonders on a waning marriage.

Keys to discovering how to communicate effectively also include properly phrasing thoughts, ideas, and observations to get the right response. Many wives are prone to command rather than ask husbands to do household chores. Likewise, husbands may take wives for granted and make demands without considering how dictatorial those demands may sound to her ears. Instead of telling a man to take out the trash, especially when frustration mounts; a wise wife can try asking, Honey, do you think its time to take out the trash? Asking a question rather than stating a command places the husband in a position to make a decision and offer a solution, instead of being told what to do. His reaction will probably be, Oh, sure, dear. I better take out the trash now; it looks like it is about to overflow. Whenever a decision must be made, males prefer being asked rather than told what to do. They will inevitably take a leadership role and come up with a viable solution if they are approached with the right attitude and respect.

Husbands could also benefit by using a similar tactic on how to communicate effectively with their wives. A wife is not a housekeeper, back scratcher, bed-warmer, and cook all rolled into one. The female is the weaker vessel designed by God to be entreated with love and concern. No matter how long couples have been married, no spouse should be relegated to a servant status. By entreating the female as the weaker vessel, yet on par intellectually and spiritually with the male, husbands will soon discover the woman they married is more than enough to keep the sizzle in their marriage. Here again, affectionately asking rather than telling a wife to bring a glass of water has a better outcome. The wife will hear a request rather than a demand; and using the right tone makes all the difference. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (I Peter 3:7).

Putting into practice lessons learned on how to communicate effectively can make a good marriage even better. By being considerate of ones feelings, showing mutual respect, addressing one another affectionately, and by listening intently, couples can realize greater marital harmony without remorse. "Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:" (I Peter 3:8-10).



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