How to love in marriage is through a relationship of commitment that is unconditional and not based upon material things or controlling others. Unconditional love comes from God. It is not based upon things that one can see. However, one can have this kind of love toward a mate by putting God first. Putting God first allows a Christian to have a focus in order to experience unconditional love and that focus is in the spirit instead of in the flesh. And to love Him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbor as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices (Mark 12:33). We can love our mate in the flesh but to do so in the spirit is a deeper love that comes from God. The Fruits of the Spirit working in our lives is how to love in marriage. We must be willing to set aside our selfish ambitions, earthly desires, sinful behavior, and work towards living in peace and harmony, to make sacrifices for the other partner when there is a need to do so.
Having genuine affection and fulfillment that comes from being in unity is how to love in marriage. Being dedicated to make sure that our partner is fulfilled is important and should be pursued. Partners who never share affection for each other may experience division. To be completely united means wanting to be close and share everything even when there are problems. And there will be problems. Through our difficulties we learn and grow. Without obstacles to overcome life would be boring. Marriage requires a determination to overcome the difficulties. In fact, couples will become closer when sticking together and solving problems together. There is strength in numbers.
When things are bad in a relationship couples need to figure out what happened to start them down the wrong road. Partners will have days when they do not feel like working on the relationship and learning how to love in marriage. Remember, just because you don't feel loving toward your spouse for one reason or another does not mean that you no longer care for him or her. It just means that there are good days and bad days and everyone has them. It is best not to go by how you are feeling at a given moment. Emotions can lead us to believe the wrong things. Emotions can trick us into actions that can lead to strife in the home. When a person experiences down times he or she should commit those feelings to the Lord, pray about them, and not be guilty of trying to over analyze those feelings. Keep being optimistic and thinking positive about each other. Trying to control our thoughts especially if contrary to the will of God is the best way to move forward. Think about what is good and not what is bad.
Take out the time to say, I love you to your mate and do it every single day. Over time couples may become critical of each other. People often take out their own frustrations on those they care for the most. This can come through as criticisms. Maybe ones spouse is untidy and picking up after him or her all the time is getting old. There can be conflict over these types of things if couples are not willing to communicate about them. The person who is always picking up after other family members should talk about what he or she is feeling. Partners should try to understand each other and work towards harmony in the home. This is another way to learn how to love in marriage.
Pay close attention to each others moods. If Sally seems down and sad do something to cheer her up. If Bill comes home upset over his job let him talk about how he feels and encourage him. How to love in marriage is through caring and being there when things are not going well. Never make light of someones problems because to them they are real and need some attention. We are all different. God made us unique and special. Just because it is not important to you does not mean that it is not important to your mate. We all need to develop good listening skills and take out the time to make our spouse feel cherished. Everyone likes to feel cherished. God cherishes His creation. He sent His only Son to die on a cross for every single person who has ever lived. This is worthy of contemplation when trying to figure out how to love in marriage.
A wise thing to do is to make a goal to learn about your partner. In order to do that one has to be willing to develop a relationship with that person. Sometimes couples are so busy with their lives that they do not really get to know each other. How to love in marriage is realizing that having a relationship requires time. Go on a couples retreat with a church group. Ask a friend to watch the kids over the weekend and go on a road trip. The important thing to do is to have some time together that is uninterrupted by trivial matters. This is a common occurrence in today's world because so many women are working full time jobs so the family can survive. When husband and wife both work full time jobs there is little time left for romance. Somehow find a way to make time to nurture each other. Let some things go at the house and take a trip. Make a decision today to set aside time for your marriage.