While infidelity before marriage may signal trouble down the road, spouses can overcome the tendency to cheat on their mates. Modern society has done men and women a great disservice by promoting a free-wheeling sexually promiscuous culture that refuses to support monogamy. While young men have traditionally been taught that it is part of a male's rite of passage to "sow wild oats," it was not until the mid 60s and 70s that women began to participate in what was called the Sexual Revolution. The advent of the birth control pill in the mid 60s enabled females to engage in sex with almost the same abandon as males. No longer was the fear of unwanted pregnancy an issue, as men and women could have as many partners as they pleased. In the twenty-first century, it is apparent that the adverse impact the Sexual Revolution and The Pill have had on wedlock has contributed to the prevalence of divorce. Infidelity before marriage and after the wedding may very well be a result of a promiscuous Last Day generation that allows the lust of the flesh and a disdain for marriage to overrule sound reasoning.
Believers, particularly, must realize that the physical body is not for fornication but for the Lord. That realization alone should help men and women abstain from infidelity before marriage. "Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's" (I Corinthians 6:15-20).
Can men and women guilty of infidelity before marriage become committed to a monogamous relationship? The answer is yes, if husbands and wives are willing to follow biblically-sound principles for holy matrimony. The key to understanding how to commit to a lifelong monogamous relationship is to understand God's original intent and purpose for matrimony: to join male and female in a single-flesh lifelong bond so that they might produce or procreate a godly seed. "And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth" (Malachi 2:15). The purpose of holy wedlock, therefore, is not just for pleasure, but to produce children whose parents rear them in the nurture and admonishment of the Lord. Through the holy ordinance of marriage, male and female submit (body, soul, and spirit) to the service of God. Holy matrimony, therefore, is between one male and one female. God hates putting away, or divorce. Couples who are aware of the plan of God, especially Christians, will be less likely to commit adultery or perpetuate the same infidelity before marriage that they may have once deemed acceptable.
Modern society promotes the fallacy that promiscuity is okay, when nothing could be farther from the truth. Across the United States, children as young as ten and twelve are caught up in a demonic whirlwind of perversity, engaging in sex acts in school yards, hallways and obscure corners of institutions of higher education. The Sexual Revolution has polluted the minds of young people, established patterns of abhorrent behavior, and paved the way for infidelity before marriage to become more the norm than the exception. If the current trend continues, the very sanctity of holy matrimony will be threatened as future generations persist in carnal pursuits. Part of the solution is for godly parents, teachers, and clergy to lead by example and compel children to emulate a holy lifestyle. When adults stop committing infidelity before marriage, then children will be less likely to fall into the snare of sexual promiscuity.
How can males and females refrain from adultery? Men with a roving eye and a lustful heart who habitually committed infidelity before marriage must first make a commitment to God before becoming faithful to a wife. The determination to serve the Lord (body, soul, and spirit) is the impetus for fidelity in matrimony. A born-again believer in Jesus Christ will desire to obey the Word of God, not out of coercion, but by obedience. Though the temptation to sin against may present itself, a true believer can learn how to flee fornication by submitting unto the Lord Jesus Christ. The born-again believer's love for God constrains, or restrains them from doing evil. A renewed spirit yearns to do good and not evil; and when lust attempts to seduce a believer, the power of the Holy Ghost can be relied upon to help resist temptation. Only the New Birth experience is powerful enough to transform an adulterer or a fornicator into a faithful mate. Anyone who thinks they can resist the temptation to sin against their spouse, the Lord, and their own bodies is simply self-deceived. Adultery and fornication are products of a sinful nature. Only being born again by the Blood of Jesus Christ and soliciting power of the Holy Spirit can Satan's hold on sinful flesh be broken and a man or woman freed to love their mate exclusively and without sin.
Adultery In A MarriageAdultery in a Marriage is a controversial subject among Christians because of interpretation of the Scriptures. Some interpret God's word as saying that it is alright to divorce one's spouse if he or she has committed adultery. Others believe that remarrying is only allowed if the husband or wife is deceased. Otherwise, the result is adultery in a marriage. "But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32). God forbids sexual relations outside of marriage. The seventh commandment is explained in the Old Testament in great detail.
Back in the days of the Patriarchs men and women were stoned who were guilty of adultery in a marriage. Some Christians believe that this is not taught a lot in churches today because so many Christians have been divorced and remarried. The New Testament has some information about marriage and divorce. We should not lust after another. When tempted with a sexual sin Christians must resist. God's word is so clear on the importance of fleeing any type of sexual sin. Keeping the Scriptures in your heart and mind can help when temptations are hard to resist.
We all have choices to make everyday. Some may have less freedom to make those choices than others but still decisions must be made. One has to decide what to eat, what to wear, what to spend our money on, where to work, what we believe about adultery in a marriage, and so on. There might be an occasion arise during the day where a person has to decide how to treat another person. If that person has hurt you in some way then your actions towards her might be malicious. Deciding to be malicious or angry is a choice. Sometimes we justify our actions because of the choices others make that affect us. But God's word says that we should love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Walking in love means being able to overlook the actions of others and practice forgiveness. This is for our own good. If one should decide to retaliate then she is no longer walking in love but is making a choice to give in to the flesh and sin. All sin has consequences.
Placing our own thoughts with Scripture is how we renew our mind. However, one must read the Word of God in order to be able to do this. Meditation and prayer in the Word can help a Christian understand more about adultery in a marriage. God's children should be walking in the spirit and not fulfilling the lusts of the flesh. Remember in the Old Testament how God dealt with cities where sexual immorality was prevalent. Remember why God used Noah to build the ark. Everyone has control of their own thoughts. Make a choice to change your thoughts. Do not give sin a minute or even a second of mind power. Instead, give up those thoughts to God and meditate on what He says.
When a person lives in a society that is evil, she will be tempted everyday to participate in that evil. Hanging out with other couples who do not realize the problems with adultery in a marriage is not a good choice. Instead find a church were there are couples who believe what the Scriptures say about sin. If a person sees that there are thoughts surfacing about sexual immorality then he had better run away from it. Don't give in to such thoughts or entertain them even for a moment. Immediately run to the Word and meditate on it. Get Christian counseling or have the pasture of the church pray with you. Do what you have to do so that you do not sin. Sexual immorality will destroy a marriage and a family. Get online and do some research on the subject. Many sites provide Biblical information on many different subjects. If we are going to live a Christian life then we must not give in to the flesh.
If a godly man or woman has already been a partaker of adultery in a marriage then he or she needs to repent of that sin. Make a decision today that a mistake like this will never happen again. Become convinced of what you believe by studying and asking God to reveal the truth. Do not look at other people and compare your lives to theirs. Be content with what God has given you. Getting one's priorities in order is one of the most important things a person can do. Put God first and then family second. Consider what happened to the Israelites in the Old Testament when they were influenced by the Pagan nations. They begin to entertain sin and became desensitized to sin because they hung out with people who did not believe God. Find out how the choices they made destroyed them.
Opening the door and partaking in adultery in a marriage can lead to an addiction. Couples who openly live a life where they engage in sexual immorality will never be satisfied. They will find themselves getting deeper and deeper into the trap of sin. Allowing the thought to be entertained is the first step in the wrong direction. Becoming entrapped in this type of behavior allows Satan to have a stronghold in your life. If you want to be free then first repent and really mean it. Seek God for help to break away from this type of lifestyle. Find other Christians who can pray and intercede on your behalf. Trust the Lord for healing.