Free matchmaking services abound throughout the World Wide Web allowing millions of singles to search all over the world for that special someone that might be the love of their life. These services are usually free only in the initial stages of the search process, allowing viewers to look at potential matches for free. Later, email addresses and phone numbers, if included on the profile, will usually be provided after joining the website's membership at a cost. Tens of thousands of people have found love and marriage through Internet dating sites, so they provide a real service. But there are some things to remember when using them.
Many cyberspace safety experts say that most people lie at least a little on their profile, with their picture or both. Pictures can be touched up or older pictures used, and profiles can certainly be exaggerated. Uncle Bills can make themselves sound like Prince William and Aunt Matilda looks like her twenty four year old niece in that picture. Wait! That is her niece in the picture. From the perspective of the person just starting out using free matchmaking services, be real from the very beginning! Don't shade the truth about age, appearance, education or income. It just means a big glob of stuff that has to get untangled later.
This leads the discussion of cyber dating to a reminder that most all of us bring some form of dysfunction to the table when posting personal ads online. Many people have no business posting their interest in finding a partner on the Internet because of unresolved issues that will only fog up the next relational attempt. It is human to want to be with someone, to find someone, to live and not be lonely. But until a person is really comfortable with themselves, without needing someone else to feel fulfilled, he cannot be ready to engage in a long lasting and meaningful relationship with someone else. Getting one's self worth from having a husband or wife or girlfriend or live-in is a recipe for relational disaster. Free matchmaking services can be a blessing or a curse, depending on whether or not the user has come to grips with their own baggage.
Here is a real good piece of advice when considering whether or not to use free matchmaking services. Ask a close and trusted advisor, not necessarily a best friend if you are ready for dating, particularly if there has been a divorce or the death of a spouse in one's life. Fresh and non-biased perspectives are particularly important when using Internet dating services because of the Internet's power to garner a lot of interest in your profile. It can be easy to be caught up in the excitement of hurrying home each night to see what new possibilities have arrived in your mailbox, forgetting that there are issues in one's own life that haven't been addressed. Just remember that you bring into a new relationship the same old person you have always been and that may not be a positive.
Look for free matchmaking services that mask one's real email address. Don't give out any personal information that could be used to trace your residence. Don't necessarily believe that someone actually looks like Brad Pitt; have your best friend take a look also-he or she may have other impressions. Cyber dating using free matchmaking services is not something that ought to be rushed into, at least in the initial stages. So many personal cues that are available when looking at a person can be missed with just the words that appear on a monitor screen. Once the relationship has moved passed the emailing back and forth, use a public telephone to communicate. Be smart and intelligent about how to communicate with this person. Assume nothing and let the relationship unfold slowly.
Free matchmaking services are usually free only in the early stages of their use. Typically people are able to browse and look at those who have posted profiles and pictures online. Contacting those that have your interest may demand that you buy a membership to the matchmaking service in order to communicate with that person. Some matchmaking providers take their responsibility quite seriously and spend the time to provide at least a shallow personality and temperament questionnaire. Attempts to match people temperamentally may provide a more satisfying partner search. But free matchmaking online may not offer such a service unless paid for or not at all. One might be well off using a website that is a paid website but offers such a service.
People who have had to use singles clubs, bars and even church groups have often tired of the hassle. Many people who use these venues appear to be needy and dysfunctional. The Internet and its free matchmaking services, with their ability to reach around the world certainly have opened the entire nation's single population to those looking for a mate. Sadly, too many people feel cheated, less valued and less important than those who have a stable full of dating prospects or a fianc or husband. God, the Creator of love and romance and intimacy knows all about that pain and that incompleteness that often accompanies singleness. He desires that you find in Him that satisfaction that can so easily be misidentified as the need for someone lying next to you at night. As you trust Him, He is ready to fill every longing in your heart and life. "My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:13)
Free Matchmaking SitesFree matchmaking sites might be called the relationship shopping centers of the 21st century, because they offer so many attractions on the websites besides pictures and profiles. On todays free websites there are blogs, quizzes, forums, events, chat rooms, videos and many other attractions to keep the single person busy most evenings of the week. The stigma of online dating is gone; the Internet has brought matchmaking into the 21st century, and anyone can afford to get online and find the person of their dreams. If only it were that simple! Despite the fact that millions of singles use the Internet as a gathering place and the singles bar and club are old news, it is still often difficult to find the one person that really tingles one's toes. So if someone cannot afford to use the sites that may cost fifty or one hundred dollars a month for membership, here are some things to remember when using free matchmaking sites.
There is no doubt about it, God created men to be visual when hunting for a mate, so that picture is a number one priority. Have you seen some of the pictures on some of these free websites? They look like they were taken in one of those photo booths at the State Fair. For goodness sakes, at least spend a little money and get a professional picture or two taken, and tell the photographer that it's for a matchmaking website. And smile, for crying out loud! Some pictures on free matchmaking sites of men and women look like the folks are on a death march to Tehran. Lighten up and look like you are glad somebody has taken the time to stop and look your personal ad over!
One of the great weaknesses about the Internet dating scene is that anyone can post, and that means the dysfunctional as well as the healthy. There are so many dysfunctional persons seeking to have relationships with others when they are not ready emotionally, mentally and spiritually to have any kind of meaningful connection with another person. This unreadiness comes through time and time again in the pictures and profiles on free matchmaking sites. Free sites, and many paid websites are not in the position to judge where people are emotionally and therefore screening through personality inventories and emotional assessments are not offered. But in many cases, the sadness, the bitterness, the mistrust, the anger and other negatives come through in both picture and profile on free matchmaking sites.
So the question is, are you ready for a relationship? The kinds of luggage dragged through the last human encounter will certainly be dragged into the next human connection. For the person who is young and yet to have experienced a lot of pain in dating, this may not seem like such a big deal, and it may not be. For the divorced person, has forgiveness flowed out of your heart if you have been betrayed and will you be able to trust the next man or woman with whom you get close? Check with your closest friends and trusted advisors to see if they pronounce you fit and healthy to have a romance again. If not wait until there is enough evidence to say otherwise. If a person is using free matchmaking sites and is not healthy emotionally, they may very well become free heartbreaking sites.
Matchmaking sites are often free because of their affiliate networking that brings in advertising dollars, but they still cannot reach the level of service that a paid site can offer. Depending on the economic ability of the client using the service, intensive and very detailed services are available through paid matchmaker sites to help a person find a very compatible partner, at least on paper. Unlike the free matchmaking sites where someone basically posts an ad and then sits and waits for responses, paid sites actually send compatible matches to other clients for consideration. Some very exclusive sites offer teams of psychologists which can sift through many possibilities for the matches felt to be in the client's best interest. This approach may often present to the client not what they are looking for, but the rather the best prospect for a good psychological match.
This all brings up a really important point for a person looking for a long term commitment partner using free matchmaking sites. The quandary facing many persons is how to know what kind of person really would be the best match and if it is the old, "I'll know it when I see it" routine, the reliability of such a method is highly dubious. At least for the Christian who is seeking to do God's will and wants to live in the center of His plan, there are promises on which to lean and count on such as, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself...sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (Matthew 6:33, 34) Leaving huge life decisions strictly in our own finite hands is a burden God never intended for any of His children to bear alone, so follow the instruction from this passage of scripture. Put God first; seek Him with all your heart, and the needs of life, including that special someone will be given in His time.