Matchmaking dating services are available up and down the Internet offering varying degrees of service and quality of prospects. From the bare bones free dating services in which an individual may post any self-picture that can be of sub quality and a self written profile that has grammar and spelling mistakes all the way to professional head shots and profiles seemingly written by talented copywriters, the entire spectrum of "dating window shopping" is covered. Some matchmaking dating services limit their clientele to specific incomes and occupations while others ask the participants to take in depth personality inventories in order to better match clients. And while some sites take a faith based philosophy to attract a particular demographic, others are adult oriented. It is not atypical to find individuals posting on a number of sites in order to have as much exposure to potential matches as possible. Costs run from absolutely free, to free for two weeks, to fifty dollars a month all the way to charges that aren't known because the service is so exclusive!
There are strictly dating services where a man or a woman can turn from page to page on a website and view persons of interest. In the strictest sense of the word, they could be considered matchmaking services, but it is the participants doing the matchmaking themselves. Matchmaking dating services would be a service in which a company, based on specific information it possesses, puts together clients based on compatibility and other dimensions. Making the decision to use such a service provider may be based on several issues. Past failure to find the right person for a long term relationship may lead some to choose the use of matchmaker. Someone too busy with a career to spend time searching for that special someone may lead a person to use such a service. Finally, a relationship failure may have taken away a person's confidence in his or her own judgment and led to trusting an outside source for a different perspective.
There are two or three very large main source matchmaking dating services that target the general public demographic. Advertising in various media, these matchmakers have made themselves household names, at least among those who have an antenna up for finding dating and marriage partners. The actual money taken in each year by these services is in the hundreds of millions of dollars, so more and more sites are coming online attempting to mimic or better these existing services. More and more services are touting PhDs who are using their names as spokespersons for these services, claiming that it's brand of verification and testing is more accurate than the leaders at the head of the pack. It would be futile to try and rate these competing services. That would best be left to the individual users to go online and read the various reviews.
There are some important things to remember when using a matchmaking dating services provider. First, the service can guarantee matches (at least some do) but they cannot guarantee compatibility or chemistry. Relationships are unlike any other commodity on the planet. One thing is for certain: when two persons in a relationship have a strong faith-based commitment, the prospects for that relationship lasting and flourishing are much greater. The Bible teaches that when a person commits his or her life to Christ, that life becomes brand new and in the process new attitudes that will enhance a relationship also begin growing. "...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance..." (Galatians 5:22, 23a) With those characteristics beginning to appear in both partners, the relationship cannot help but grow stronger.
Another thing to keep in mind when using a matchmaking dating services provider is that they are all unregulated. Anyone can set up shop as a matchmaker and there may be unscrupulous ones out there on the Net. Make sure that whatever company has been chosen is legit. Find out as much as possible about the company, even checking with the Better Business Bureau in the city where the company is headquartered. And then remember one other important when using a matchmaking dating services provider.
The problem with matchmaking dating services is that too often one or both of the parties involved bring into this new relationship old issues from the past. Sadly, many of these issues have not been addressed and slowly but surely begin to entangle themselves about the new relationship until problems arise. New faces, new locations, new jobs, new clothes and whatever we might try cannot take away that it is still the same old person with the new clothes in the new place with the new dating partner. What does this all mean? Many people seeking that special someone aren't ready for that relationship.
For too many, the drive to have somebody in their life is based in the mistaken belief that their self worth is wrapped up in having a wife, husband or significant other. Looking for someone else to give us validation, value and importance is a sign that we really are not ready for a healthy long term commitment. Real joy and deep abiding contentment comes from us knowing that no one can give us the importance that all people crave. It appears that human value is degrading by the day where people seem so disposable and it is quite easy to feel that one is just a number among many. Think about this for a moment: your incredible value and worth was established the day Jesus died for you on the cross. Discover that value before looking for validation with a human relationship.
Personal Matchmaking ServiceA personal matchmaking service may be the option that many busy people in life choose to help them locate someone for a long term or permanent relationship. The stigma of using the Internet to find dating and marriage partners has long died a well deserved death along the side of the road, and in its place are quality website services that have commitments to helping clients and visitors find compatible matches for friendships, dating and permanent relationships. A personal matchmaking service is however, defined not so much by photos and profiles that a person can review as it is by the service's commitment to using its resources to offer matches for the client based on its research and evaluation. Matchmaking service providers that target middle class clients often use proprietary interview and questionnaire tools to define each person's strengths and personality types. More expensive and elite personal matchmakers may actually employ a team of psychologists and relationship experts to interview and match clients.
Highly busy and involved professional people are often the most likely candidates to use a matchmaker. In most cases, the wealthier and highly visible a client is, the more expensive and discrete the personal matchmaking service will be. These services are often used by doctors, lawyers, business owners, media stars, Wall Street moguls and other well-heeled and discrete loving individuals. Many highly elite personal matchmaking service providers use heavy networking strategies across the country to locate possible matches for these wealthy clients. Representatives and agents scour galas, civic clubs, charity events and other meeting places for well educated and motivated persons who may be good matches for their clients. And in all cases, privacy for all parties is guarded.
As stated earlier, most personal matchmaking service providers that are in business for a profit will use proprietary personality and temperament inventories for finding matches. While the wording and the appearance of these inventories will be different from provider to provider, the actual content of these tools will be quite similar. Issues that will be covered in these inventory questionnaires will be issues such as the ability and comfort level of vulnerability. Many opaque people resist the opportunity to open up and disclose their inner self while other practice transparency on a regular basis. Open mindedness, the ability to communicate and the style of communication, sexual expectations, closeness with other family members, conscientiousness, integrity, healthy attachments, psychological strength and many other human factor components. How those factors are balanced against one another and matched with other inventory results will be the responsibility of the matchmaking service and its history of success in permanent relationship matchmaking.
For those who cannot afford such an exclusive personal matchmaking service, there may be some ways to take advantage of their tools. There are a number of compatibility tests that are availability on line as well as books and manuals on sale at various book sellers that a couple can sit down and take together or separately. While not sounding real romantic, an "early in the relationship" meeting over coffee and an inventory might not be such a bad idea, especially if the couple is mature enough to see a potential attraction. Romance put on the back burner early can save a great deal of heartache and frustration later. In fact, while some couples wait all the way until premarital counseling with a pastor or advisor to begin seriously looking at major personality, expectation and goal differences. Sadly, couples are not often willing to pull the plug on a DOA relationship because of wedding plans and money already invested. Even more disturbing is the belief that somehow the differences will go away after saying "I do."
Using someone or a company to find a person a match may sound rather clinical and not at all natural. But leaving the finding of a mate strictly a personal task has only been a relatively modern concept. Personal matchmaking service providers, at least as individuals, have been a part of most societies for a number of centuries, and in some logical way may make the most sense, since those outside the romantic spell often have the best insight into its wisdom or lack thereof. On the other hand, for many who dream of some enchanted evening across a crowded room, having a committee of psychologists suggest a particular person as the best match lacks a little of the fireworks. For people of faith, there may even be the question of whether or not this is unbiblical or way too humanistic.
Does a matchmaker, perhaps an unbeliever, thwart God's will for someone's life? "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is." (Ephesians 5: 15-17) The will of God is not some mystery or some riddle to be unraveled but rather, the will of God is for each believer to be the right person, taking on the mind of Christ. A person who has that kind of mindset can be thrust into any situation and will know what God will want of him or her. No matter how brilliant or how successful a matchmaker's track record is, a believer will know whether or not the choice of that personal matchmaking service is God honoring. In other words, a matchmaker's opinion is finite, God's is eternal.