Divorce for adultery is one reason that the Bible gives where a person can divorce and remarry without committing adultery, "And I say unto you, 'Whoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her which is put away commits adultery'" (Matthew 19:9). In other words, if your spouse has been unfaithful and there is no way that you can stay in the marriage then you can divorce and remarry without sinning. The main thing to understand is that marriage is a sacred union between two people. To divorce for no reason is like saying that the union between the two people involved did not mean anything. This has to do with morality. God's word also tells us that if a believer and an unbeliever are married and the unbeliever wishes to depart then the believer should allow him or her to do so. Divorce for adultery is a serious matter and the thought of breaking up a marriage should spur Christians to seek God for his guidance.
Legally speaking, if a person decides to divorce for adultery and lists this as the reason then he or she will have to prove this in a court of law. This is considered to be a fault-based divorce. To prove sexual immorality in court may not be easy. There would have to be an eye-witness who is willing to testify or photographs showing the incidence. Circumstantial evidence is when the actions of someone might lead one to the conclusion that sexual immorality took place. Public displays of affection might be considered circumstantial evidence in court. If a person chooses this course of action he or she should consider getting evidence before using it as a reason for the breakup of marriage.
Ending a marriage is usually a very hard thing to do no matter what the reason is. Most legal sources suggest not filing based upon divorce for adultery. Also, do not think that just because your spouse cheated that a settlement will cause a judge to rule more in your favor. The best way to handle the end to a relationship is to sit down with one's mate and agree on a settlement beforehand. Having an affair does not mean anything when it comes to things like alimony, child support, or child custody. There is no law to address sexual immorality in court. In other words, a person will not go to jail for having an affair and charges cannot be filed against him or her for doing so.
Be prepared to go through a lot of stress when the marriage ends. Try to work with one's mate concerning all issues. These include money, assets, debts, custody of the children, visitation, child support, alimony, and so on. The best thing for the kids in most cases is that the parents file for joint custody. Children need both of their parents. Divorce for adultery will make it harder for the kids. The settlement could take much longer, thus prolonging the stress for them. Think about how their going to be affected by the breakup. Statistics say that children from broken homes are going to have more problems than those who live in a home with both parents. They are more likely to drop out of school, have more behavior problems, and abuse chemical substances.
A partner who is dealing with infidelity should consider marriage counseling before filing divorce for adultery. If this has just happened one time and one's partner vows that it will not happen again, then consider forgiveness and work on healing. There is nothing set in stone that one should automatically assume that if a mate cheats once he or she will cheat again. The decision or choice is up to the individual. This could depend upon whether or not both people really want the marriage to work. Go to your church family, ask for prayer. Spend time in prayer with the Lord individually and together. Go on a couples retreat with a church or seek Christian based counseling. Seek the answer through the Lord. Ask for His guidance and help for forgiveness and strength. Also, pray that God will give both of you peace through this stressful and uncertain time.
Often a partner will blame his or herself for their mate being unfaithful. Do not blame yourself for someone else bad choices. People make choices everyday. If a mate has a stomach problem and makes a choice to eat the very food that causes him or her pain, is that your fault? People can come up with all kinds of excuses when they stray. Infidelity in a relationship can cause a great deal of pain. At first a person who has been cheated on will become angry. Then the betrayal of trust takes hold. This could lead one to seek a divorce for adultery. Take time to think and do some research before making a big decision. In other words, do not be hasty to do anything. Seek some advice from people that you trust and pray everyday for the Lord to lead.
When going through with a divorce there is going to be a grieving process. The changes in one's lifestyle will add to the stress. Trying to remain optimistic for the future is important. Divorce for adultery will not be easy. Seek the advice of an attorney that is trustworthy. If you're not happy with what the attorney says then seek the advice of another one. Talk with friends and neighbors who have been through it. Start going to counseling as soon as possible and consider getting counseling for the kids. Take one day at a time and remember that life will get better. It may not seem like it at first but overtime the pain will get less and less. Read the promises of God and stand on those promises.
Divorce For AlimonyPeople who divorce for alimony take unfair advantage of those who may genuinely love them. Some men and women marry for all the wrong reasons, including those who have no intention of staying in the relationship or those who once married seek to gain financially by ending a marriage because of the love of money. Also known as gold diggers, these individuals prey on the emotions of unsuspecting lovers, seducing them to walk down the aisle for what promises to be a lifetime of marital bliss. But before the ink can dry on the license, a gold digger is planning a way of escape and a means of robbing an ex-spouse blind. When a petition for marital dissolution is final, an ex-spouse stands to gain as much as 50 percent of their mate's assets. Depending on the duration of the relationship or if there were no pre- or post nuptial agreements specifying how assets would be distributed should the marriage end, a settlement could include a hefty sum. If an ex-spouse has considerable income, real estate holdings, stocks and bonds, or certificates of deposit; an unscrupulous mate could walk away with enough cash to be set for life.
Unfortunately divorce for alimony, or spousal support, happens more often than one would think. No one really knows what is in the heart of a man or woman who marries for money. For years, a gold digger can play the part of a devoted spouse, biding their time until the right moment to declare irreconcilable differences or a lack of affection for the partner. If the money is right, staying married for five to ten years may be well worth the wait to divorce for alimony and wind up gaining a hefty fortune. Some seductive swindlers may reason that the benefits of spousal maintenance, especially when considerable wealth is involved, certainly outweigh the drudgery of being in a loveless marriage. Their sole motive is to make money from an unsuspecting spouses perception or desire for a happy home. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings. As the partridge sitteth on eggs, and hatcheth them not; so he that getteth riches, and not by right, shall leave them in the midst of his days, and at his end shall be a fool" (Jeremiah 17:9-11).
Most notable of instances where people divorce for alimony are May/December marriages, or unions between husbands and wives who are considerably younger than their spouse. When a twenty-year-old former waitress chooses to marry an over-the-hill eighty-year-old multimillionaire, the motive has got to be money. It is only a matter of time before the young missus suddenly declares that they no longer have the same relationship that first struck her fancy in the beginning. Unless the old geezer has a rock solid prenuptial agreement, the former waitress will divorce for alimony and gain a healthy chunk of the old man's fortune. When children are involved, wealth must also be shared in child support payments. The cost of keeping an ex-wife and the kids in the lifestyle to which they had become accustomed could take a big bite out of an ex-spouse's income. The courts will enforce spousal and child maintenance commensurate with an ex-mate's ability to pay, even though the motivation is greed and deceit.
The pity is that these swindlers could care less about the hurt divorce for alimony causes. Not only does the ex-spouse suffer a considerable financial loss, but also the loss of self-esteem, the pain of rejection and the shame of being deceived by someone they loved. If the victim and the perpetrator have children, kids can become emotionally damaged having to endure the trauma of separation from a devoted mother or father. Victims of an unscrupulous spouse may never find the heart to trust in another individual; and many adults and children are permanently scarred by such gross indiscretions. "And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea" (Mark 9:42). Divorce for alimony is a dangerous game; and people on both sides of the table can be hurt. An angry ex-spouse swindled out of life savings can resort to violence or worse. Unfortunately, some gold diggers persist in finding other targets to seduce, marry, and swindle so that they can continue to enjoy a carefree lifestyle at the expense of someone else.
The best defense against an individual who intends to divorce for alimony is a pre or post nuptial agreement. A prenuptial contract is entered into before couples wed, but a post nuptial agreement can be drafted any time afterwards. Both are considered legally binding contracts in most states, and should stipulate community, or jointly owned property; a full disclosure of each spouse's assets; and instructions on how property will be divided in the even the marriage ends in divorce or death. The beauty of a marriage contract is that it prohibits spouses from taking more than a fair share of assets or surprising an unsuspecting mate with unreasonable demands. Without a legally binding document, individuals who marry for money and make a travesty out of the holy institution of matrimony will continue to wreak havoc in the lives of loved ones because of a selfish desire get rich quick. If the sanctity of holy wedlock is to be preserved, spouses must be vigilant and watchful against predators.