Healing After Divorce For Men

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Healing After Divorce for Men is possible when forgiveness and letting go of the past are the main goals. Those who turn to God for help will find that this process is much easier. The Lord can bring healing that transcends the body, mind, and spirit. Without forgiveness a man can take resentment and grudges from the old relationship into a new relationship. Healing after divorce for men requires effort and determination. Spending many years in a marriage creates a bond between the partners. When that bond is broken one can feel lost and vulnerable. Sometimes we try to fill the void that divorce creates so we can feel better. Turning to addictive substances and dating are not the answer. A man needs time to heal before going into a new relationship. "But unto you that fear My name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in His wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall" (Malachi 4:2). God's word can comfort and bring peace. All one has to do is ask.

Divorce is considered to be one of the major stresses that a person can experience. Traumatic and heart wrenching, healing after divorce for men is a difficult process. The separation from a life once known to emptiness as one looks ahead is often how a man feels when realizing that the loss is inevitable. A man will often have regrets after the separation is final. Sometimes a man will try to reunite with his ex-spouse because he misses being married. If this is possible then great, but most of the time there is no turning back because things are never quite the same. God is the only one who can heal this time of grief and trauma in a person's life. Therapy will help but if a person truly wants to be healed, body, mind, and spirit, then turning to God is the answer.

Depression is common after a break-up. Men who feel depressed need to realize that this is a common occurrence and that healing after divorce for men is possible but it usually takes time. When it hurts so bad that getting up in the morning is difficult then a little intervention is needed. The best thing that a person can do when going through this type of pain is to take one day at a time and realize that this hurt will not last forever. Going to work helps a man to get back to living. Distractions can be good if they are positive. Concentrate on what is important and try to forget the negative aspects of the past. Set new goals and work towards accomplishing them. Accept that life is going to be different but different can be very good. Work to make life better. If there are children involved then concentrate on making life better for them. Get up in the morning and go to work for the kids. They need Dad to be healed so do what it takes for that to happen and experience healing after divorce for men.

Remember that if there are children involved that it is not just about you. The kids are having a difficult time and need Dad to be strong. Get your mind off of self and pay attention to how the children are doing. They did not ask for mom and dad to be divorced and they may think it is their fault. Concentrate on their healing and healing after divorce for men will be easier. Never use the kids as a means to get back at the ex. Putting the children first and doing what is best for them will help each one to realize that Dad still loves them. Using the kids against the ex will make the kids feel alienated and resentful. After all, children going through divorce need to heal and adjust to the changes going on around them too. Most of the time they do not understand so thats where you come in. You must gently tell the kids that the breakup has nothing to do with them, that it is not their fault. Consider counseling for the children, pray over them, and take the precious ones to church.

Divorce is like death. When a person goes through a divorce he experiences grief. Working through grief is a process. Healing after divorce for men requires the realization that there are stages to the pain felt. Once a man realizes that the emotions are part of the grief process then hope can be found. Hang in there and as time passes those painful emotions will become less and less. Getting counseling and having someone to help through the healing process can make a difference. Sometimes group counseling is a real eye-opener as a person realizes he is not alone. Hearing other people's stories about divorce can bring comfort. There are people out there who are hurting just like you are.

Quiet time alone is a must for healing after divorce. While alone, have a heart to heart with God. The Lord cares and wants to carry your burdens. Get out the Bible and find Scriptures on healing. Begin the prayer with praise and thanksgiving. Then ask for forgiveness and have a repentant heart, realizing that God has the power to set things right. When God answers prayer, He does it in such a way, that everyone involved is restored. Sometimes healing after divorce for men may not be immediate but do not lose faith, it will happen. God may want to use the pain in your life as a ladder towards growth and bringing you closer to Him. Allow Him to work miracles, to calm the storm, and heal the pain.

Healing After Divorce For Women

Healing after divorce for women includes coping with the loss, facing the changes in lifestyle, and making the best out of the hurt and pain. We may feel prepared and think that we are ready for the divorce to be final but may not realize that our emotions will be up and down and the pain will remain for a while. The bond created during a relationship makes healing after divorce for women especially unsettling. The best thing that one can do to make it easier is to give all of the emotional ups and downs to the Lord. The next best thing is to understand that the healing will take time. Ladies who try to fool themselves into believing that they are prepared may find that they are still vulnerable and at times may feel like it is the end of the world. "But unto you that fear My name shall the Son of righteousness arise with healing in His wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall" (Malachi 4:2).

Life goes on and there are going to be good days and bad days. Healing after divorce for women does not happen overnight. There will be grief experienced. Some women say that divorce is like death. A woman may feel angry, sad, depressed, confused, and experience fear. This is normal. However, if a lady feels depressed to the point of contemplating suicide then take this as an indication that help is needed from other sources. Talking things over with a counselor might be helpful. If a divorced lady is not attending worship services then this would be a good time to seek out fellowship with believers. Seek out Christian friends who will pray with you for healing. Never give up even when things get bad. Tomorrow is always a new day and most likely the pain will lessen considerably over time.

Remember that there is help available to those who feel like they need it. Get online and do a search on healing after divorce for women. There will be lots of websites with valuable information. Keep in mind that some of these feelings are normal. Work through those feelings recognizing that there is a good reason for them. Most people who are together count on one another for support. When the relationship is gone then one can easily feel alone and forsaken. Just remember God said He would never leave you or forsake you, "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, 'I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee'" (Hebrews 13:5). Also, there are many women out there in the same boat. According to statistics half of Americans who are married get divorced. There is bound to be a support group in the area where one could easily find others who are going through the same thing.

Not dwelling on negative feelings can help in the healing process. Sometimes a person may try to make sense of her feelings by over analyzing everything that has happened. Doing so can make everything seem worse. It is best to resolve the issues by looking at the facts. We can always look back over any situation in life and have regrets. We wish that we would have done things differently and then fret because we didn't. Healing after divorce for women is best done by realizing that the past is the past and we cannot change it. Instead, concentrate on the good memories and on the positive things. Then let the hurt, pain, and unforgiveness go and look ahead to the future. God will not abandon his child but instead He will give comfort, peace and the strength necessary to keep on living.
Concentrate on the things that you can control and give everything else to God. Some things just can't be changed. The important thing is to realize that God has something better in the future. He can turn something bad into something good. It may not happen overnight but when the time is right the good things will become obvious. Healing after divorce for women is all about being positive. Concentrate on making life good for the children. Remember they are hurting too. Help someone else who is going through the same thing. This will help your own healing process. Keeping a journal can help one sort through the feelings. Find someone who is trustworthy and talk about unresolved issues. Sometimes just talking about the pain can help a person heal. Make new goals and plans. Focus on the things that you do have control over. Healing after divorce for women is about deciding to make your situation better by getting on with life. Don't let negative thoughts control you.

Be honest about the mistakes that have been made and decide to learn from those mistakes instead of repeating them. The worse thing a person can do after going through a divorce is to immediately jump into another relationship. This is an easy thing to do because we get lonely and this is a temporary fix. Healing after divorce for women is all about giving self time to heal. For some people the healing may take longer than for others but it will happen. There needs to be time to do that before making a commitment to a new partner. Ladies who do not give themselves time to heal could easily get into another bad situation simply because they are not thinking straight. This would not be fair to you or to the person you're involved with.

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