How Divorce Affects Finances

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No one can anticipate how divorce affects finances until the reality of separation sinks in. When faced with the truth, estranged couples may find the price for ending a marriage is far greater than they are willing to pay. While some might feel that marital dissolution is the best remedy for couples in crisis, saying I don't can signal the beginning of financial hardship. That's because a house divided can create twice the debt and double the emotional distress. Attorney fees, alimony and child support, increased living expenses for dual households, increased health costs, and travel for weekend and holiday visitations are just a few budget-busters that can make couples in crisis take a second look at ending a marriage. "And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand:" (Matthew 12:25).

The cost of splitting up can not only break hearts but also bank accounts. In addition to paying attorney and court filing fees, husbands and wives who separate double their cost of living. Dual but separate residences, no matter how meager, means paying two mortgages or leases, and coughing up twice the cost of utilities, telephone, cable, water, and garbage collection. Couples accustomed to living in one household are in for an unpleasant surprise. Newly single ex-spouses will incur additional expenses starting over again, including the expense of relocating, buying new furnishings, a second vehicle, or paying for a longer commute to work. Ex-husbands who may not foresee how divorce affects finances soon learn that paying an ex-wife alimony plus child support takes a big bite out of an income already stretched to the limit. Court-ordered spousal and child support payments are mandatory; and getting them reduced takes time. Meanwhile, a former husband and father must bear a hefty responsibility to continuing providing for a family with whom he unfortunately no longer resides.

From a woman's perspective, how divorce affects finances for ex-wives dependent on alimony and/or child support presents other problems. While monthly maintenance helps divorcees maintain the standard of living they were accustomed to prior to dissolving the marriage, there may be very little money for extras and frills. The court is only interested in dependent wives and children getting adequate food, shelter, clothing, medical care and education. Many single parents who rely heavily on the obligor's faithfulness in adhering to court orders, struggle to make ends meet. If Johnny wants a new pair of expensive basketball shoes, the only way Mom can afford them is to put a bill on the back burner! Then, there are the battles that can result between ex-husbands and wives over payments that are late or less than the court orders. Child support enforcement agencies can revoke a deadbeat dad's drivers' license for non-payment, but the family situation can easily deteriorate when ex-spouses constantly argue over money. The impact of how divorce affects finances can also affect children. While parents battle over missed or late support, children may harbor resentment against what they perceive as an uncaring dad who, in their eyes, has not only abandoned the family but refuses to provide.

When couples contemplate separating, they often fail to address how divorce affects finances on an every day basis. In a child custody case, the non-custodial parent often incurs additional expenses just trying to maintain a relationship with the kids. If an ex-husband or wife lives across town, the expense for children to visit their mother or father is slight; but a trip across the country to see dad on holidays involves buying a plane ticket or gas to drive a car. And because most estranged parents feel guilty about putting the children through a separation or divorce, they may tend to be overindulgent, spending excessively to try and reassure the kids that the non-custodial parent still loves them, though absent. Some ex-spouses play a dangerously competitive and expensive game out-spending an ex-husband or wife in an attempt to win a child's affection. The result is a spoiled child and a lean wallet.

How divorce affects finances may also be evident in increased healthcare costs for one or both parents. It is a well known fact that marital dissolution can be one of the most stressful and traumatic experiences an individual can face. Divorced spouses may battle depression, anxiety, feelings of low self-esteem, loneliness, resentment, or anger-- all emotions that can trigger chronic diseases or mental health disorders. Females undergoing the stress of a marital breakup may experience cessation of menstrual cycles, chronic fatigue syndrome, migraine headaches, insomnia, hair loss, or skin disorders. Men may also become depressed or experience illnesses like erectile dysfunction disorder, insomnia, or stomach ulcers. These kinds of physical, mental or emotional ailments may require the attention of healthcare professionals; and visits to doctors, psychologists, or therapists can take a huge chunk out of an ex-spouse's income.

Becoming more aware of how divorce affects finances can actually be a deterrent to marital dissolution. Couples in crisis should take time to weigh options and make a qualified decision about whether to stay in the marriage or bail out. Before taking the plunge into divorce proceedings, troubled spouses must determine whether the relationship can be saved. Even in an instance of marital infidelity, love can cover sin and overcome the hurt and pain of unfaithfulness. "But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer. And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins" (I Peter 4:7-8). In light of how divorce affects finances, couples would do well to consider professional or spiritual counseling to resolve differences and begin the road to reconciliation.

How Divorce Affects Work

How divorce affects work can be obvious when a worker who has been efficient in the past begins to make mistakes or totally forgets to do certain job functions. People going through a divorce often feel depressed, emotionally spent, out of touch with reality, and may even exhibit signs of grief. Breaking out in tears or falling asleep at one's desk could be other ways of how divorce affects work. This could escalate if the divorce has turned into a battle for child custody. Anything that has a negative effect on one's life can have an effect on the job. Sometimes people will feel consumed and not be able to concentrate on job duties. The best thing a person can do is to concentrate on work when she is there and try to keep personal problems private. If she is having difficulty in doing this then she needs to go to her boss and ask for time off or at least, let the boss know there is a reason when the job is affected. "And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it" (Psalm 90:17).

Couples who get counseling or are educated about marriage may be able to find a way to work things out before finding out how divorce affects work. Adults can learn problem-solving skills and how to communicate better with each other. First partners have to identify what the problems are. Then they need a plan on how they will tackle the problems. Studies have shown that sexual problems and finances are two big reasons why couples divorce. One partner likes to spend money and the other one likes to save. One partner has had an affair with another person and all the trust is gone for the one who has been betrayed. Couples should seek counseling and find a way to communicate openly and then make a commitment to each other so they won't have to find out how divorce affects work. This may seem difficult but in time this type of mindset can pay off. Divorce should never be an option unless everything else has been tried toward reconciliation.

Being fired by an employer will not solve any problems but instead will make the problems worse. You need a mindset that you do not want to find out how divorce affects work but instead will concentrate on work while there and concentrate on personal problems at home. Instability with your job may show the court that having custody of the children might not be wise. Using wisdom and common sense will help with setting one's priorities. The battle of letting go of someone that you loved very much can prove to be very difficult. This battle can go on even after the divorce is over. The stress of managing a single parent household can make it seem even worse. Give all the stresses over to the Lord and ask Him for peace. He gives peace that passes all understanding. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusts in Thee" (Isaiah 26:3).

Becoming totally immersed in work may actually help a person who is going through divorce. How divorce affects work can be positive if an adult is willing to use the pain to try harder. This is possible but still all the negative feelings and doubts will have to be dealt with sometime. A partner's mindset could make all the difference when a marriage ends. Concentrate on the positive memories and the beautiful children you made together. Recognize the breakup for what it is; a learning experience. Do not fight with your ex-spouse. Allow the court to set the rules and then let an attorney take care of the legal stuff. Make sure the kids are put first in every decision that is made. Talk over your cares and worries with the Lord and ask for His guidance.

A breakup in marriage can have serious psychological effects on both men and women. Anytime there are psychological effects with an individual, her job can suffer. Of course nobody wants their job to be affected but it can happen and sometimes it happens without realizing it until the boss calls you in his office. The employer is paying wages for work earned and most will not tolerate someone who is not fulfilling obligations. However, some employers are sensitive to how divorce affects work and may offer some time off or have a suggestion on where to go for counseling. So do not hesitate in explaining the problems you are experiencing and maybe there will be some good things come from being honest. A person needs to be sincere and respectful with the employer. Keep in mind that the company could easily replace you if such a move is warranted.

The negative effects of divorce are great especially where the children are concerned. Adults can get so wrapped up in their own thoughts about what is happening with their job that they forget to think about the kids. Children can seem very resilient at times but that does not mean that they have not suffered psychological effects. The two people that they trusted the most in the world have hurt them. Studies have shown that kids whose parents have divorced have more difficulty in school, with relationships, and are more likely to be involved in crime situations or engage in substance abuse. How divorce affects work is a major concern because having an income is important but more than that minors really do need both parents all the time so couples need to work together for the good of the little ones.

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