Family Conflict Resolution

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Professional family conflict resolution therapists work with parents and siblings to identify relationship issues and offer viable solutions. There are many underlying causes of familial discord: death, divorce, remarriage, chronic disease, loss of employment, out-of-state job transfers, or military deployments may all trigger conflict between ex-spouses, married couples, and children. In today's turbulent society, families are being torn apart by a myriad of circumstances. To keep the traditional household intact, professional and spiritual help may be warranted. Many times, single or married couples cannot face trouble on the home front alone. When the trials of life seem overwhelming, or solutions are not forthcoming, parents must take a proactive stance against adverse influences and seek professional or spiritual help to resolve issues and bring reconciliation.

The loss of a loved one is one of the most traumatic experiences an individual can face. When mothers and fathers lose a child or children lose a parent, the whole household suffers. In the death of a child, parents may be come overly protective of surviving siblings; while the death of a parent can cause quarreling or division among surviving children. Aside from death, job loss can also be traumatic. Increasingly, families are being torn apart by joblessness, foreclosures and lifestyle changes caused by a loss of income. Parents seeking to survive financially may venture out of state to find work. Military spouses and their children must also endure the hardship and uncertainty of separation from loved ones. The solution for these kinds of situations may be seeking a professional or spiritual counselor or minister to help guide troubled members through family conflict resolution.

The impact of adverse challenges can cause behavioral changes in minors, teens, mothers and fathers. Emotions can run the gamut from depression and anger to substance abuse and domestic violence. When tension and emotions become too volatile, unbiased professionals may be able to help families regain perspective through family conflict resolution. The purpose of therapy is to help mothers and fathers unearth the root cause of clashes and work through problems without resorting to drastic means of regaining control over the household. A therapist can help single parents or couples undergoing crisis deal with personal emotional issues. Feelings of guilt, rejection, abandonment, or inadequacy can be addressed in a non-threatening atmosphere. Individuals may be encouraged to verbally express innermost emotions without criticism or rebuke. Counselors will also work with adolescents and teens to glean understanding from a child's perspective.

While counselors may utilize similar techniques, Christian family conflict resolution employs Biblical sound advice to help clients resolve problems. The Bible is full of answers for women, men, boys and girls seeking to understand and settle differences that can plague an otherwise happy home. Secular therapy sessions may include individual interviews, but also role playing, interventions, behavior modification, or administering mental health medication. Faith-based programs usually offer private counseling, marriage retreats, teen activities or family encounters to help troubled households face and resolve issues. Christian and non-Christian therapists offer grief counseling for bereaved families who have lost loved ones.

In many cases, family conflict resolution and long term counseling is effective in working through emotionally traumatic situations to bring closure and comfort to hurting households. There is no shame in reaching out to unbiased and impartial counselors to find solutions to familial conflict. "Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold. For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it. I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions. The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate. Counsel is mine, and sound wisdom: I am understanding; I have strength. By me kings reign, and princes decree justice. By me princes rule, and nobles, even all the judges of the earth" (Proverbs 8:10-16).

To find family conflict resolution counselors, individuals or couples can search online websites or local directories. Secular therapists may offer fee-based services for budget-conscious families; but some churches have programs that are free of charge. Hospitals may also provide human services programs for bereaved families, victims of substance abuse, or mental health patients as part of outpatient or short- and long-term treatment. Hospital social workers and physicians can devise a treatment plan to help patients and their relatives work through conflict and facilitate recovery. Grief counselors often work with members of a household over one to two years to help aid in mending emotions and arriving at closure. The Armed Forces usually provides free family conflict resolution services to spouses of deployed servicemen and women. Military spouses should look through the base directory to contact counselors and schedule sessions or get information on dealing with separation issues. Grade schools, colleges and universities also offer psychological and relationship counseling and therapies for troubled youth, teens, and adults and their relatives. School counselors are often a source of reliable information on how to locate low-cost agencies.

Whether conflicts are caused by the death of a loved one, divorce, remarriage, chronic disease, loss of employment, out-of-state job transfers, or military deployments; it is comforting to know help is available for households in crisis. No situation is too hard for God to solve; and He will guide and direct single and married parents to those who can help. Through time, families facing crisis can be reconciled and wholeness restored as mothers, fathers, and siblings realize they do not have to suffer familial discord alone. Seeking the help of professional and spiritual counselors offering no- or low-cost family conflict resolution is the right step to putting homes back together again.

Fighting Fair In Marriage

Fighting Fair in Marriage takes good communication skills and the determination to be a good listener. Conflicts are going to happen but how one reacts to those conflicts can determine the outcome. Some conflicts in marriage end up with one spouse mentioning divorce and walking out the door without taking the time to bring resolution to whatever just happened. Some subjects are painful and when the touchy ones get out of hand a person can go to the extreme in trying to deal with the emotions. Fighting fair in marriage means letting go of the fear of confrontation and replace the fear with love. This may be difficult to do because confrontation is very painful for a lot of people. However, God can give strength to look past the pain and to respond with love. "But unto you that fear My name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in His wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall" (Malachi 4:2).

Couples who fight in front of their children should consider the psychological damage that could result. Some experts believe that fighting fair in marriage means to keep the argument private. Children do not need to hear the awful things that are often said during a fight between parents. The adults can make up afterward and forget the ugly things that were spoken out of anger but children usually take it inwardly and think that the episode was their fault. Most kids can not stand to hear their parents talk about divorce and hating each another. So adults, be responsible and do not have disagreements in front of the kids or where the kids can hear them.

Bringing up things that have happened in the past is not fighting fair in marriage. This is a common problem among partners. They want to hurt the other partner so they lash out with issues that have happened in the past. If you want to fight fair then you must stay focused on what is currently going on. Communicating about the problem at hand can alleviate confusion and helps adults to work towards coming up with a solution. Name calling and dredging up old issues will make the argument last longer and both adults will go away feeling like they were attacked. Take out the time to think before speaking and offer constructive criticism. Be willing to admit when you are wrong and do not get defensive.

Being controlling and pointing blame is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can affect one's physical and mental health. Fighting fair in marriage means not throwing temper tantrums and threatening to leave. Verbal abuse can have a devastating effect on a person's self-confidence. Distrust of self and the desire to distrust future relationships can be a result of emotional abuse. A person who lives with someone who's abusive may have difficulty making decisions and may feel confused about his or her own feelings. The abuser may go so far as to humiliate him or her in public. If you find that this describes your own situation then go get some counseling, pray asking God for strength and guidance, and be determined to make a positive change.

Partners would do well to try and find a balance in the way they communicate. One partner may be overly quiet and keep everything inside. The other spouse may be very vocal and have a tendency to be dominant. Each adult needs to learn to communicate in a way that is healthy. Disagreements can end up with no resolution and can put a wedge between spouses. Fighting fair in marriage means finding a way to resolve issues in a positive way and not engaging in bad behavior. As a Christian, a person should be committing such issues to God and communicating out of love. There will never be a time when a couple will be able to agree on everything. Therefore, each one should decide to have the right attitude when disagreements happen.

Today is a good day to start fighting fair in marriage. Don't let another day go by before deciding to do everything out of love. Take out the time to treat your spouse with dignity and respect even if you don't feel like doing it. Most people respond to others based upon how they are being treated. If a person is constantly criticizing his or her spouse then there is bound to be hurt feelings. Put yourself in the other one's shoes and start treating him like you would like to be treated. "And he answering said, 'Thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself'". (Luke 10:27) Practice understanding and forgiveness all the time.

Keeping a gratitude journal can help a person remember all the good things he appreciates about his spouse. Recall when things were good and there was love guiding the relationship. Think about when the change happened and what might have caused it. Fighting fair in marriage means giving one's spouse the benefit of the doubt all the time and responding to negative issues in a positive way. Be the first one to make the move to reconcile. Suggest to your spouse that communication needs to start with prayer and thanksgiving to God. Be led by the spirit of God in everything.

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