Unlike extramarital affairs, love making in marriage is the consummation and culmination of a couple's intimate bond sanctioned by God. The Creator made no mistake when He created Adam and Eve male and female for the perpetuation of the human species. While God could have designed husbands and wives to come together sexually without feelings or emotions, His intent was to provide a pleasurable physical and spiritual union between couples. In the act of sexual intercourse, the husband "covers" and cleaves to the wife, providing not only pleasure, but also security, and the unparalleled intimacy from which children can be conceived. Love making in marriage is that ultimate expression of emotion between man and woman, which is very different from a sexual encounter outside of holy wedlock. Marital love requires a lifelong commitment and an ongoing dedication to unselfishly give a most prized possession to one's mate. "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
The difference between love making in marriage and an illicit affair is that intimacy in holy wedlock perpetuates a lifelong bond beyond the physical realm, while an affair based on a fleeting carnal desire is impermanent and unreliable. While intercourse nurtures the marital bond, a one-night stand can be morally and emotionally damaging. Sexual intercourse is ordained by God to strengthen the one-flesh union created upon consummation. Through a lifelong monogamous intimate relation, husbands and wives form a single inseparable and impenetrable entity that cannot be easily broken by infidelity. The solemnity and sacredness of marital intimacy cannot be rivaled by an act of the flesh between two unmarried individuals. No matter how scintillating or momentarily gratifying, the commitment which accompanies holy wedlock is sorely missing. Men and women who routinely have sexual relations without the benefit of matrimony do so at their own risk. Sex outside of wedlock is a selfish, self-gratifying act that can leave men and women emotionally scarred, especially when the union fails to lead to marriage. Sadly, such relations may not only result in wounded hearts, but also in illegitimate pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, or death.
God's original intent and purpose for love making in marriage was not only to provide a pleasurable and private interchange between a husband and wife, but also primarily for procreation. A child conceived in love between committed Christian parents fares far better than one conceived in lust. Although the Creator allows conception between couples who are not married, the optimum circumstance for child bearing is when a husband and wife have given themselves wholly, first to God and then to one another, without reservation, without regret, and without the sin of adultery or fornication. The purity of such a union enshrouds an unborn infant with love and grace, sanctifying a godly seed for the glory of God. "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:4-6).
The Bible is explicit about how Christian husbands and wives should approach love making in marriage: the husband possesses the wife's body and the wife possesses the husband's body. Therefore, to deprive a spouse of the pleasure of sexual intercourse for spite or as a method of intimidation, domination or control is a sin. "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your inconsistency. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment" (I Corinthians 7:1-6).
Love making in marriage should be free from bitterness, resentment, or strife. Differences should be settled before bedtime and transgressions forgiven and forgotten to facilitate an interchange that is free from jealousy or conflict. A wife should not be coerced into having relations, but the husband should entreat her as a precious possession, loving the wife as his own flesh. Sexual intimacy should be a celebration of all that is shared between two people: a celebration of life shared in Jesus Christ and a celebration of an undying love punctuated by joys and sorrows. Couples with children should regularly plan an evening away from home to enjoy one another without the pressures of work or the patter of little feet. Routine dates or romantic interludes serve to keep the sizzle in a relationship and add fuel to the home fires.
Lastly, love making in marriage should stay in the marriage. Husbands and wives should refrain from discussing details of intimate relations with anyone other than a therapist or professional counselor. What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. Discussing an intimate relationship between husbands and wives is not only in poor taste, but also a betrayal of a spouse's trust. Children, no matter how small, should not be privy to the sights or sounds of love making in marriage. Parents and spouses who make an effort to safeguard the blessed sacredness of holy matrimony, keeping shared pleasures secret, will continue to enjoy the bliss that is solely theirs for decades to come.
Pregnancy During Marriage ProblemsA normal or high-risk pregnancy during marriage problems can place the life of a mother and child in jeopardy. Because of the adverse emotional impact of marital conflict, pregnant women are especially susceptible to miscarriages or fetal distress. Under normal circumstances, having a baby should be a joy to both parents. However, wedlock overburdened with woe can overshadow the joy of welcoming a little one into the world. Couples in conflict bring should exercise care not to allow an embattled marriage to inflict undue stress on an unborn child or its mother. The best way to ensure the birth of a healthy baby is to provide a quiet, nurturing environment where the wife can get proper rest, nutrition, prenatal care, and minimal emotional duress. If the home environment is unstable or disrupted by frequent fighting or arguments, both the mother and unborn infant will encounter difficulties. Thus, having a baby is no time for either parent to become self-absorbed and combative. Even if a couple is diametrically opposed when it comes to other issues, they should strive to come to coexist harmoniously for the sake of their unborn child.
While some consider a fetus to be just a mass of living tissue, that mass of living tissue is actually a human being. "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations" (Jeremiah 1:5). God knows every soul BEFORE he or she is born! At certain stages of development the fetus is capable of hearing sounds and feeling emotions. Inside the womb, a developing infant hears noises from its mothers surroundings and can react to certain stimuli. Pregnancy during marriage problems that lead to violent altercations, combative arguments, yelling or hitting can cause a fetus to experience the effects of its mothers stress. Children in utero may be born not only with feelings of rejection or fear, but also an inability to properly nurse from their mothers breasts. Babies who undergo the nine-month gestational period under stress may develop colic, incessant crying, or even erratic body movements as a learned reaction to loud noises or hostile surroundings.
Women experiencing pregnancy during marriage problems run the risk of miscarriage quite possibly more than wives whose husbands provide emotional support. During pregnancy, as the fetus develops, women must feel protected, secure, and loved in order to carry a child to term with few difficulties. The less anxious or fearful a wife is during the gestation period, the better she is able to cope with the physical and mental demands of being pregnant. As the mothers body changes and prepares to give birth, certain hormones are released that can either foster calmness or stress. A normal pregnancy can quickly turn into a high-risk episode and impact the babys ability to survive if the mother is constantly subjected to physical, mental or emotional abuse. Just as nutrients from the mother cross the umbilical cord to feed an unborn child so do emotions. Thus, it is imperative that a mother remain as calm and optimistic as possible throughout the pregnancy to safeguard the health of her unborn baby.
In cases of pregnancy during marriage problems, a husband can play a significant role in lessening stress. Whether marital conflict is caused by the man or woman, an intuitive husband can take the lead in reducing anxiety. Pregnant women will experience emotional highs and lows; but even during marriage woes a man can bring stability and a sense of wellness by being considerate of the wifes feelings. Curtailing serious discussions of past transgressions or ceasing to finding fault or be overly critical of the wife is wise as the welfare of mother and baby are of utmost importance. The husband may want to simply call a truce and treat his wife to a day at the spa for a relaxing massage or beauty treatment.
If sexual intimacy has suffered because of marital difficulties, couples can try some non-committal cuddling in the bedroom with soft music. A woman undergoing pregnancy during marriage problems will need to be reassured that the father of her unborn child will not resort to abandonment during such a critical time. If the marriage has suffered and reconciliation seems impossible, both partners must resolve to forego fighting or put the stress of litigation on hold until after the baby is born. Husbands and wives should remember that childbearing can bring out the best or the worse in a woman. There is a chance that a wife who is irrational and argumentative while undergoing pregnancy during marriage problems may become loving and lovable after the birth of a child.
As a husband becomes more caring and affectionate, his wife can focus on the pregnancy during marriage problems instead of the relationship. The addition of children to a family is also an incentive to reconnect with one another and God. Individuals who have strayed away from the church should seek to reestablish their faith. Pregnancy during marriage problems can be a more pleasant experience when husbands and wives learn to forgive, forget and forge a new relationship with God at the helm. A newborn baby needs both parents and a nurturing environment in which to fully develop and thrive. By laying aside marital conflict for the sake of children, husbands and wives can hope to regain the unity, harmony, and love so essential for a happy home.