Finding marriage help for men is a lot easier now that advertisers recognize males as a viable target audience. Traditionally, most self-help books, seminars, and websites are geared toward women. The general consensus used to be that the male is the perpetrator in a marital dispute and the female an innocent victim. Hence, women have been the primary target audience for counselors, therapists, ministers, psychologists and others who specialize in family matters. Secular marriage help for men might also be less readily available simply because husbands do not usually express feelings or emotions. Many take a passive role and choose not to fight for a relationship that appears to have gone sour. Indeed, marital conflict might be a result of the man's tendency not to let the wife know what is going on inside. Nonverbal responses like shrugging the shoulders or sulking silently can lead a woman to think a man is disinterested or indifferent; when the opposite might be closer to the truth. Society may even be to blame, as traditionally, young boys are taught that it is effeminate to cry or display any emotion when hurt or disappointed. When young boys grow up to become husbands that learned behavior may prohibit any verbalization or emotional display that could remedy a lot of situations. Verbalizing fears and feelings could perhaps, deepen the bond between husbands and wives.
In the last two decades, secular advertisers have come to realize that men make up a large part of the total consumer audience. That realization has led to the advent of new magazines, books, and websites that specifically target males. In addition to articles that address a man's physical well being, some e-books and popular tabloids offer marriage help for men including how to relate to females--in and out of the bedroom. Topics may include information on understanding the female psyche, how to keep the home fires burning, tips for dealing with male menopause or erectile dysfunction, recipes for healthy eating, or suggestions for grooming. Almost any aspect of marriage help for men can be found on the Internet; and husbands can surf at leisure to discover ways to make a relationship better.
While secular periodicals and web posts offer marriage help for men, one of the best places to find wisdom and godly counsel is in the Holy Bible. Over two thousand years ago, God, the Author of matrimony moved on holy men to write epistles, or letters, and offer insight into male/female marital relations. Husbands with a desire to become better lovers can read the Song of Solomon, a romantic account of a young king's love for a bride and the courtship that ensues. The Book of Genesis, a book of beginnings, recounts the love triangle created between the patriarch Abraham, his wife Sarah, and an Egyptian handmaiden, Hagar. In this true saga, Abraham is torn between the son borne by Hagar and the child of the promise, Isaac. Husbands dealing with children from a previous relationship and an ex-wife can surely relate to the conflict a second marriage and offspring can bring.
In the Bible, marriage help for men can sometimes take a cynical twist. A look at Samson's life reveals a man who was physically strong but morally weak. In the end, Samson paid the ultimate price for an overwhelming lust for beautiful women: his life; a difficult but frank object lesson for twenty-first century husbands tempted to stray outside of the marriage bond. From the New Testament, husbands can glean wisdom, knowledge and understanding of the respective roles of men and women by reading the fifth chapter of Ephesians. Marriage help for men in Ephesians includes instructions on how to love a wife, how to entreat her as the weaker vessel, and how to become the spiritual head of the house, as Christ is the Head of the Bride, the universal Body of believers:
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: ... For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephesians 5:25-33).
In the secular world, marriage help for men seeking to become better husbands may be scarce, but readily available in the Word of God for those who will search for it. The Bible is the best source for information on holy matrimony. Within the pages of God's holy Word lie all wisdom, knowledge and understanding regarding the marital relationship for both spouses. Even husbands who are facing the uncertainty of a pending divorce can find solace, hope and peace in the Word of God. The Bible is replete with a remedy for every possible situation or circumstance known to man. There is no end to the infinite wisdom of the Lord Jesus Christ; and He stands ready to help all who call on Him out of a pure heart.
Marriage Help For WomenWhile thousands of books exist offering marriage help for women, there is one Book that far exceeds all others: the Holy Word of God. By reading and applying biblical principles for holy matrimony, women can experience lasting fulfillment and happiness. The key is to first of all, believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God and secondly, to accept the fact that the institution of traditional marriage was ordained by God and meant not only to be monogamous but also last a lifetime.
Searching the scriptures and applying biblically-based marriage help for women gives Christian wives an advantage: they have the Word of God and faith. Diligently applying biblical instruction not only helps prevent marital infidelity but also promotes a mutual love and respect between spouses which fosters a nurturing family environment. While statistics indicate over half of all marriages in the United States fail; couples that adhere to specific rules of conduct are less likely to face the divorce court. The key to making marriage work is to work hard at keeping marriage Christ-centered. Scriptures offering marriage help for women can be found in I Corinthians, Ephesians, and the Book of Titus.
I Corinthians 7 deals specifically with marriage help for women wed to un-churched or unsaved men. Wives typically accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior prior to husbands after only a few years of matrimony. But, an unsaved husband may not only be reluctant to follow his wife to church, but also may take many, many years to finally say yes to God. The result is a house divided with the head of the household serving the devil and the saved wife striving to please both the husband and Godwith much tribulation! Unless the husband is physically abusive to the point that it is life-threatening, the saved wife is admonished to stay in the marriage, especially if the husband is willing to live in the same household: And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him (I Corinthians 7:10-13).
The Bible goes on to say that the unsaved husband is sanctified, or set apart, for his mate and that sanctification enables children born from the union to be holy in the sight of God: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy (I Corinthians 7:14). God expects the believer to dwell with a non-believing mate and entreat themas much as possible-- with the love of Jesus Christ. But He also allows the believer to be free of the marriage in cases of chronic physical abuse or spousal abandonment. Wives will discover that the Bible offers explicit marriage help for women who may be victims of domestic violence. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches (I Corinthians 7:15-17).
Ephesians, Chapter 5 offers excellent marriage help for women desiring to become more submissive. While it is far easier to submit to a believing husband who also is submissive to Christ, the Bible does not make this distinction: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing (Ephesians 5:22-24).
Similarly, husbands are admonished to love the wife as his own flesh: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (Ephesians 5:25-29).
Finally, Titus, Chapter 2 offers the newly wed wife practical marriage help for women, ideally taught by older females. In a letter to Titus, a Gentile convert to whom the Apostle Paul had assigned the early New Testament church at Crete, Paul gives specific instructions for Christian wives, But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:. . . The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed (Titus 2:1; 3-5).
The above passages of scripture provide a wealth of wisdom, knowledge, and marriage help for women seeking to please God and experience the joy and fulfillment that only Christ-centered matrimony can offer.